BooksBarbecue
Back Nanny Dearest
Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. Part One
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. Part Two
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. Part Three
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

She blinks rapidly, barely catching her breath as she chatters. “But then, a few years ago, something in me snapped. I couldn’t do it anymore, and I couldn’t figure out why. I felt like I was being choked, like my brain was choking me. I had to stop working.” Her eyes finally stop moving, land on mine. “I need you to know I haven’t always been like I am right now. I really, really haven’t. But there’s something wrong with me, Suzy. Something very, very wrong.”

She’s pleading with me to drag her out of the hole she’s dug herself into. And something in me breaks, too. In spite of my angry resolve, I feel my heart softening as I watch her convulse with more sobs. She takes off her glasses, averting her eyes shamefully, and wipes her tears with her sleeve. “I’m so sorry for everything, Sue. You can leave. Call a cab.”

But I hesitantly slide into the chair she vacated, lay my bag on the ground. I know how she’s feeling, this utter loss of self. Lying to everyone around you, anything to be loved. “I promise we can get you the help you need, okay? Better help. I don’t think you’re a bad person, Anneliese. I see that now. Let’s just leave this house, get you to your sister’s, okay?” I hand her a tissue from the Kleenex box in the middle of the table.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ve done enough damage already.” She blows her nose.

“I want to.” And it’s true. I don’t trust Anneliese. But wouldn’t it be inhuman not to help someone so broken? How are any of us supposed to process our traumas without people holding our hand along the way? Beth could have easily given up on me, but her sticking by me has meant so much more than I ever could have imagined. Anneliese is a deeply troubled woman. And the truth is, the sooner I hand her off to someone more professional than I, the sooner I can finally purge myself of her for good.

“Let’s get you back to where you’re staying and regroup. You got here by cab, too, I assume?” I stand up, but pause a moment, my phone still showing no service. “How did you even get in this house, by the way?”