The evening is crisp, and she shivers. She sees goose bumps crawling up his arms, but he doesn’t seem to notice his own discomfort. He lowers his forehead to the porch table. “I don’t know how to do this.” He pauses, keeping his head bent. “I didn’t grow up like this. My parents came from humble beginnings. Belle, she was the one who knew how to navigate this life, these people. She knew how to do everything, and if she didn’t, she would learn in a day. Sometimes I feel like I’ve walked onto the set of someone else’s life, pantomiming some other man’s motions. Belle always kept me from drowning, told me that if I felt like I didn’t belong, I had to fake it until my insecurities ebbed away.” He sighs. His voice trembles.

“I don’t know how to be Suzy’s dad without Belle. How do I do this? Do you know? Do you have any ideas? I’m failing her. I’m failing her. You’re so good at this. You love her. She loves you. Thank you for not failing her.” Each question falls like a fact. He looks up, remembers who he’s talking to, clenches his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry, Annie. I’m sorry. You must think I’m losing it. Maybe I’ve lost it. What is ‘it’ anyway? Maybe...maybe go to bed. Don’t see me like this.” He lays his arms on the table first this time, before putting his head back down.

She follows his orders. “You’ll be okay, Mr. Keller,” she says gently as she opens the screen door and smiles to herself. He’d said exactly what she wanted to hear.

Suzy has stopped asking about Mrs. Keller. Annie was firm about that. “She’s gone. She’s never coming back. You have me now.” It took a few tries, but she thinks Suzy gets it. The house is so pleasant without Mrs. Keller. No more moaning through the night. Fewer dishes to clean. The air even feels lighter, since Annie isn’t looking over her shoulder at every corner. Isn’t watching Suzy succumb to her embrace, isn’t flinching as those red nails dig into Suzy’s soft pink skin.

She knows now what will happen next. She’s encouraged, too, by those friendly voices in her ear that tickle her brain, urging her to move forward, follow the sun and go out west, to Oregon, like the pioneers in Honey in the Horn.