His voice hitches on the last word, and I can’t help but want to coddle him, to reassure him that I’m okay. Gavin has always been so soft, so well-intentioned, that I’m sure whatever he’s saying is true. I know he wants the best for me. It’s Beth and her overprotective misgivings that I worry more about.

But I promise to call her. Because if nothing else, it is a bit strange that Anneliese, in the time I’ve known her, in all the conversations we’ve had, buoyed by love or respect or wine, has never mentioned any kind of previous health scares. Which means it’s possible that none of it could be true, of course.

Gavin begins updating me about his own life, about his new exhibition at a group show in Red Hook and how he learned to surf this summer one weekend at Rockaway Beach. He does look tan, his hair even more grown out and floppy now, a cliché of a surfer’s shag. There’s a sharp pang, a souring in my stomach, when he says he’s started seeing someone, a girl he met at a show he set-designed in July. It’s hard to admit it, but I’ve felt for years that Gavin is intrinsically mine. That his devotion should be saved for me.

He says he’s recently begun contractual work with INTAR, a Latinx theater company. That he wants to start working on more shows, plays, and experimental theater, anything he can get his hands on. That he didn’t realize how fun it could be to work on a collaborative project like that. I tease him, tell him it’s only because he’s met this new girl, the stage manager, but he rolls his eyes and says no, that I’m putting too much significance on a burgeoning, barely two-month-long relationship.

We pay the check and take the 4 train down to Union Square. He offers to walk me home before taking the subway back down to Brooklyn. At my stoop he hugs me tightly. “You really did disappear, Suzy. If nothing else, that was a cause for concern. Be gentle with Beth and me. We just missed you, and we want to make sure you’re coping with everything in a healthy and positive way, okay?” His hug feels so strong and good that I almost want to weep. “Hang in there. If Anneliese turns out to be a total nut, you can always block her number and ghost.” He laughs.

But of course, it would never be that easy.

He lets go before I’m ready for him to but waits until I’m in my front door before walking down the street. He’s confident in his stride, and it makes me smile in spite of myself.