Please forgive me for thinking of you and an orgasm in the same thought. But if we’re not meant to have this kind of pleasure—a lot—then why give women a clitoris with over 8,000 nerve endings? DOUBLE what you gave the penis! Sometimes I feel like we just walk around trying to act normal—human—when all we really want to do is have an orgasm because it’s the BEST feeling. Why make it so amazing? And if it’s only meant for reproduction, then why does it feel good all the time? Why not make it feel good only when the body is primed to reproduce? Did you mess up? I mean … you created the world. THE WORLD! Surely you could have put this pleasure mechanism on a timer. Why leave cookies in a cookie jar if we’re not supposed to eat cookies all the time?

On that note … my research has led me to discover that a lot of the animal kingdom masturbates, so what’s up with that? I thought humans and their insatiable sexual needs possibly stemmed from the fiasco in the Garden of Eden, but that doesn’t explain the animals. Any who … just things that will need to be explained when I see you someday.

“Ave?”

“Hmm?”

“Where were you?” Jake whispers, feathering his lips over mine.

“Just … talking to God.”

His eyebrows knit together. “About Swarley?”

“Um … yes.”

I’m going to Hell. But that’s not a newsflash.

On a sympathetic sigh, he rolls to the side, pulling me into his body for a hug. “I feel like an ass for trying to seduce you while your mind is clearly on Swarley … where it should be tonight.”

Rubbing my lips together, I leave my focus on my hands pressed flat to his chest. If I look at him, he’ll know. He’ll see my lies, my perversion. My sins.

“Do you pray for him to live or do you pray for him to find peace as well as your sister and her family?”

I’m a terrible person.

I pray that God will provide him with a soft blanket to hump in his afterlife.

“I’m going to Hell,” I whisper.

“No. Why would you say that?” He slides a leg between mine, bringing us even closer.

I push away. “Naked and on your stomach.”

His lips twist into a restrained but sexy grin.

“One sec.” I fetch a towel from the bathroom and toss it to him. “Cover your goods with this.” I turn my back and retrieve lotion from my bag.

He chuckles. It’s playful, and I could listen to it forever like a song that speaks to the heart, making it overflow with bliss. “My ass? Is that what you’re calling my goods? And is there a reason you have your back to me?”