Other children. Megan’s good. She doesn’t dismiss the obvious—Swarley is one of my sister’s children.

“Yes,” Avery whispers.

“Then you know that you can’t be everywhere. And every goodbye should mean everything.”

Sydney’s lower lip quivers as she nods once.

“Do you need another minute?” Megan asks.

Sydney nods again before lowering her head closer to Swarley’s ear. Megan slides past me to exit the room. I can’t bring myself to move out of her way, or say a word, or make my lungs take another breath. Until … I see Sydney’s lips move, whispering something to Swarley and it. Breaks. My. Heart.

“Excuse me.” I brush by Megan and her nurse standing just outside of the room then hurry to the waiting room.

“Ave—” Jake stands.

My body crashes into his. I squeeze him, burying my face into his neck. “Don’t let me go.” A sob breaks, rattling my ribs. “Don’t wh-whisper something in … m-my ear and let m-me go.”

Not like Sydney is doing to Swarley.

Not like my dad did to my mom.

Not like every man who has claimed to love me.

Love me, Jake. Not for now—love me forever.

He cradles the back of my head with his hand. My body slides into the hard, familiar curves of his torso. And when my heart knocks on my chest, reaching for his heart, I lose myself.

Dreams blur.

The familiar becomes the unknown.

Life feels suffocated by death.

“We can go.”

Jake releases me as I turn toward Sydney, wiping my eyes only for them to refill with tears when I see my own sadness multiplied in the tears on her cheeks.

“It’s out of our control. His fate is in God’s hands.”

I swallow the lump of reality lingering in my throat and step away from Jake to hug my sister. She’s so much stronger than I will ever be.

“That’s what Dad said about Mom,” I whisper.

Sydney nods.

“I’ll call if there’s any change.” Megan’s gaze sweeps around the waiting room.

It’s hard to walk away, so I wait for Sydney to take the lead. She does, and Jake rests his hand on the small of my back to usher me out the door behind my sister.

“Towels and bedding are in the hall closet.”

“Thanks, Meg,” Jake replies.

“I’m going to drive Sydney.” I turn to Jake as we reach his truck.

“Good idea.” He nods, taking my hand to give it a quick squeeze.

“I’m never getting a dog,” I whisper as Sydney distances herself, bringing her phone to her ear. Probably checking in at home.

Jake’s lips curl into a doleful smile.