He’s in pain, but I can’t fix him when I’m still scattered in so many pieces. And as much as he might like to put me together to fit the mold he desires, I can’t bend that way anymore.

“Good job, Ave. Stand the fuck up for yourself. You said that to me. So this is me, standing up for myself. I have no job, no money, no car, and I probably won’t have a home by the time we get to L.A. But … I’m going to stand up, even if the only thing covering my naked body is an itty-bitty piece of self-worth.”

Jake lifts his head. I hold my breath as he gives me an unreadable expression. Bravery isn’t a trait, it’s a few moments of time where we pretend that we’re not vulnerable. My chin tilts up a fraction. If he doesn’t say something soon, my bravery will slip, and once again I’ll be nothing more than a hot mess.

“You don’t want to go home.”

I narrow my eyes. “I hate camping.”

“But that doesn’t mean you want to go home. You could be home by the end of the day. I could hang out with Swarley and enjoy the peaceful camping I’m used to every summer. Your dad would expedite your trip home if you just asked. So would Deedy. So would your sister. Yet here you are … with me.”

My gaze drifts over his shoulder to the unquestioning sunrise. It just does its thing. It doesn’t ask why we need it. Why can’t Jake just do his thing and take me home? Why can’t he be the unquestioning sun—guiding me home?

I shrug. “You could have driven me to any airport along the way and put me on a plane to L.A. with the promise of delivering Swarley. Yet here you are … with me.” Letting my focus return to him, I swallow hard.

I’m not sure either one of us really has a damn thing to give the other one. Yet here we are, on this road trip—marking time, delaying the inevitable.

Jake’s sad face finds a hint of a smile. “Here I am … with you.” He pulls my feet off the bench, scooting me closer to him so his torso wedges between my legs, our faces just inches apart.

“We have nowhere to go,” I whisper past the lump of fear in my throat.

His gaze finds my mouth, and it sends a tingly feeling to the rest of my body. “We have lots of places to go, Ave … just nowhere we need to be.”

Nowhere we need to be …

That’s liberating and sad at the same time. When did my existence become so inconsequential?