When she thought of Rick, she felt no real depth of grief. How could she when she hadn’t loved him? She had cared for him and tried so very hard to love him, but it just hadn’t been there. She doubted that he had loved her either, not in the proper sense of loving another person. What she felt for him was profound shock at the manner of his death. And guilt that maybe she had been the reason for him dying. The guilt was fading, but it still had the power to creep up on her now and then. But she was determined not to let it get the better of her.

Without a doubt her relationship with Rick had changed the course of her life, just as being raped all those years ago had done, but this time it was different. Whereas previously, as a result of a bad decision on her part, she had been set adrift not knowing what to do with her life, now, with a child to take care of, she had a sense of purpose. The way ahead was unclear, but she knew she would do whatever it took to give her daughter the best life she could.

She was running the risk of waking Lucas in LA, but she rang him anyway. He had frequently said that she could call him any time she wanted and while she was mindful of his work hours, they had spoken quite often. If she ever found herself worrying about the future, he could always say something that made her laugh or helped her to see things with a fresh perspective. She had come to value the closeness of their friendship and saw him as the brother she would have always liked to have. Such was their closeness, she had even told him about being raped as a student.

He answered after only a few rings.

‘Is everything all right?’ he asked groggily.

She apologised for waking him and launched herself into the reason for her call.

‘Willow,’ he said, ‘just let my dad help you. It would mean a lot to him. His offer is completely genuine and I for one think it’s a great idea. I can just picture you there and, speaking as her uncle, I think it would be great for my niece.’

Smiling at the way he regarded himself as an uncle to her baby, she could picture herself here as well, and being happy.

‘What don’t you like about the idea?’ Lucas asked her.

‘I feel guilty about saying yes,’ she said. ‘I don’t feel I deserve it.’

‘What do any of us really deserve? But you certainly didn’t deserve what Rick did to you, or what happened to you as a student. So accept Ellis’s offer and see how it pans out. It’ll give you time to decide what you’re going to do next.’

‘Next is what worries me. I currently have no real means of supporting myself.’

‘We’ve discussed this before. Rick made his daughter the sole beneficiary in his will, so once the legal side of things has been resolved, and his flat sold, that should give you some sort of financial security.’