Frowning, I tried to decide how I felt about that. On the one hand, I was glad he was getting some research done. Saylor had tons of old books, and we’d barely scratched the surface of Oracle/Paladin knowledge. On the other, there was something about the image of him in that house, going through Saylor’s things, that twisted my heart.

“Have you found anything?” I asked, and he sighed again. I pictured him with his phone jammed between his shoulder and his ear, an enormous tome spread out before him. I could hear the rattle of pages, and figured my mental image wasn’t too far off.

“A few things,” he said. “Not much, but at this point, I guess anything is better than nothing.”

“Right,” I agreed, and then, before I could stop myself, added, “You could bring some of the books by my house later if you wanted. We should, um, make sure we’re both prepared for whatever comes next. Especially since that first trial was so intense.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone, but only for a few heartbeats.

“Sure,” he said at last. “After school?”

I glanced around. Chie was still facing her computer, but she wasn’t typing anymore, and I got the feeling she was trying to listen.

Lowering my voice, I said, “I have pageant sign-ups, but after that, yeah. If my parents aren’t home, you can use the extra key to let yourself in. It’s—”

“I remember where it is,” he said, and in the ensuing pause, I imagined him tugging at his hair.

Could we do this? Still act as Oracle and Paladin and pretend our hearts weren’t breaking every time we talked? Sitting there in the computer lab, surrounded by people who were David’s friends, I wanted to wish we’d never even tried to be together. That we’d made a mature decision that things were too complicated as it was, and that dating would make it worse.

But that would mean wishing he’d never kissed me the night of Cotillion. Wishing we’d never laughed together and held hands and all the other things that I already missed.

I wondered if David was thinking that, too, but in the end, he murmured, “See you then,” and hung up.

Chapter 19

Chapter 19