“Don’t get mad,” she said quickly, “but I sort of asked Ryan if he wanted to come with?”

For a second, all I could do was blink at her. And then, when I actually went to talk, my voice was way too high. “Ryan?” I all but squeaked.

“I didn’t mean to,” Bee replied, rising to her feet. She was fiddling with the ends of her hair. “I was talking about the fair, and he mentioned that he wasn’t sure he was going this year because he and Mary Beth had planned to go, but obviously that’s not happening, and then he looked so bummed and I felt bad for him.”

Last year, Ryan and I had gone to the fair with Bee and Brandon. I could practically still smell the popcorn and sugary-sweet scent of candy apples. Could remember Ryan’s hand warm in mine. It hadn’t been a great night or anything—Bee was right, the fair wasn’t exactly my fave—but it had been normal.

I tried to imagine walking around the fair tonight with Ryan, not just my ex but a freaking Mage, a walking, talking reminder of how weird my life had become.

Disappointment has a taste, I swear. Something kind of bitter in the back of your throat that you can’t quite swallow. It seemed like I was tasting it a lot these days.

But now I smiled at Bee and said, “Oh no, I totally get that. No worries.”

Bee tilted her head, watching me. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I waved one hand. “Ryan and I are okay for the most part, and it might be nice to do something with him that’s not crazy-superpower related.”

Bee nodded, her hair bouncing. “That’s what I thought!” she said, and there was something about the brightness of the words that had me looking at her a little more closely.

“Bee,” I said slowly, resting one hip back against the vanity, its lace skirt brushing my calves. “You’re not thinking about Parent Trapping us, are you?”

Rolling her eyes, Bee flopped back onto the bed. “This Paladin thing is making you paranoid. I only want everything to be normal.”

So did I. A lot. But the thing was, it was never going to be. And it was like every time I thought I’d achieved some kind of normal, there was some new wrinkle thrown in, some curveball I had to adjust to. “Excellent multitasker” might have been one of the skills I’d listed on college applications, but it was getting harder and harder to do.

Maybe tonight could be a start, though. If eating cotton candy with Ryan and riding a machine that had been put together by scary dudes for like twenty bucks would make Bee happy, I’d give it a shot.

Chapter 21

Chapter 21