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Chapters (50)
  1. Praise
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Awful Truth
  7. The Life
  8. Make That Four
  9. Heaven, or: Last April at the Frick
  10. New Punch Line
  11. The J-Mart Employee of the Year Pleads His Case
  12. Reminder
  13. Auto-Nav
  14. Our Greatest Hit Hits Again, or: Who Is the Rat Burglar?
  15. I’m the Mang?
  16. Me vs. the Goldfish
  17. Size Matters
  18. Life of Crime
  19. I High-Beam the Dream
  20. What the Covet Girl Tells Me
  21. How Memory Harvesting Can Save Your Life
  22. The Sound of Our Future Together
  23. Bullet by Bullet
  24. The Effects of Drinking and Dosing
  25. A Bra Tells the Truth
  26. Gun Therapy
  27. WWPD: What Would Pinkerton Do?
  28. The Nakamura Job
  29. The Treachery of Images
  30. Herk to the Rescue
  31. The Truth About Herkimer
  32. The Polecat
  33. Do I or Don’t I?
  34. The World I Know Nothing About
  35. Kong’s Price
  36. Bathroom Talk
  37. Good Start
  38. Reunited
  39. Baconmouth
  40. Teamwork
  41. A Picture of Loveliness
  42. The Forty-fifth Murder
  43. The Unreachable
  44. Ambiguity
  45. Exit
  46. Sacrifice
  47. Otto Starks, Supernova
  48. Snitching
  49. Clean Getaway
  50. Acknowledgements

Then it gets bad. We round a corner that reveals a long, long corridor. We screech to a stop and stare down to the distant corner. Charlie could make it, but I’ll never be able to hobble down there before the guys are on us. We both know it. Charlie stares at me, her eyes watering. Then her hand flashes like a mongoose into the holster on my leg, comes out with the dart gun, and in one continuous motion she leans around the corner and fires a dart into the neck of the lead guy. He goes down fast, but two more are coming at us, guns out.

“Dart!” Charlie yells.

I peel one out but drop it. There is no time to load. Charlie picks it up, hurls it like a quarterback, and gets another neck shot and it’s thirrrp, boom, down. But the third guy is still coming, and there is no more time.

Passionately I wish that we had a real gun.

As Charlie yanks off her belt, I barely process the guy breaking around the corner, her arm swinging, the polished blur of a metal buckle lashing the guy’s hand. The gun skitters to the tiles and, somehow, the belt is now looped around his wrist. Charlie slips a punch, wraps it around his wrist a second time, cinching it, and then by some incomprehensible contortion of physics the guy is in the air, pinwheeling for what seems like a very long time until he hits the floor in a crunchy tangle of limbs. Charlie puts a chokehold on him, and it is not gentle. It is not a nudge into sleep, like the choke she used on me, and in a few excruciating seconds he is out.

Part of me is relieved to be alive. Another resents that I now owe Charlie one.

I pick up the gun and swing out the cylinder.

“Two bullets left,” I yell over the alarm.

Charlie extends her hand and for a second I almost hand it to her. But then I shake my head no; she can’t hurt me with a dart but I don’t trust her with a firearm. She can probably take it from me and do anything to me that she likes, true, but I’m not going to make it easy on her.