I chuckled before turning serious. “I know I’ve been a handful these past couple months.” When Alicia went to interrupt, I cut her off. “I wanted to thank you and say that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I’m also your sister too. I want you to know I’m here for you as well. If you ever want to talk or need me for anything, I’m here.”

Her reaction shocked me as her features dropped. Alicia rolled her shoulders back as if gearing up to tell me something. “Actually, I am seeing someone. Our relationship is… complicated. We have to keep it a secret since—”

An abrupt crash had us pivoting to the side. A bartender had dropped a tray of glasses, jagged pieces splayed all over the floor. We soon made our exit, entering a dance club where music pulsed against the walls.

Alicia refused to give me any more information on her mystery man, her previous sharing mood dwindling with the alcohol, replaced by her attempts at playing matchmaker.

We were hit on by multiple men, a lot of them attractive. Alicia dodged the offers with city girl precision. I wish I could say the same for myself. Bolstered with fresh heartbreak and liquid courage, I managed to kiss one. Which didn’t go down well. I had only ever kissed Owen. He was my first and only… Not anymore.

I panicked, nausea roiling in my gut at the feel of another man’s lips on mine. And when the random pulled back, I immediately combusted into tears—drunk, messy tears.

How embarrassing.

Alicia took that as our cue to leave. With her hand in the crook of my elbow, she led me from the club, and we headed home.

We leaned heavily into each other, a duo of intoxicated brats who couldn’t hold their liquor. I was still crying, and hadn't stopped since we left.

“It felt all wrong… His beard was too long, too rough and scratchy…”

“You don’t have to force it, Lex. You’re still going through a separation.”

“Then why do I feel guilty? As if I’m betraying something that doesn’t even exist anymore?”

“You don’t owe that man shit. You can have a whole harem of men who worship you, and the only thing you should feel guilty for is which one to pick next.”

I half giggled, half sniffled. “I never thought I’d find myself here. We were so happy, so damn happy. I guess that was all a lie. Who knows, maybe he was always in love with her.”

“You know he wasn’t. We all know he isn’t.”

We remained silent for a bit. That was the first time I was willing to be open, to talk about those who must not be named.