Not here, of course.

Haley is so wrung out from all her orgasms that I have to help her off the bed. I sit her on the edge and run my hands over her legs until they stop shaking. She grins down at me. “That was horrible.”

I slick my fingers between her spread thighs. “Your pussy loved it.”

She raises her hands to pat at her hair and lets out a breath. I let her compose herself for a moment while I wash up in the bathroom. Rearrange my clothes. When I return, a warm washcloth in hand, Haley stands and spreads her legs for me. Never mind that I punished her. Never mind that I made her pay in more orgasms than she was ready for. She’s willing to let me do it again.

But for now, she leans her head against me while I wash her. In order to do it properly I have to kneel down, and she settles her hands on my shoulders.

“Leo.”

“Yes?” I pause with one hand on her thigh and the other between her legs. It’s possible she’s never been in a more vulnerable state. Naked, apart from her engagement ring and her new necklace. My hand on her softest part.

“Are you okay?”

The question still sounds new, though it seems like a lifetime that I’ve been in love with Haley Constantine. I never expected to hear it in anyone’s voice other than Eva’s or Daphne’s or even Sophia’s. I still find it shocking that anyone could be worried about me. That anyone could see me at my worst and still find me deserving of concern and compassion. And Haley wants an honest answer. It is sometimes excruciating, telling her what I feel. Revealing myself to anyone has always been one of the biggest risks it’s possible for me to take.

For her, I’ll do it. I’ll take stock of everything I have, and everything I feel. I won’t deny her.

“It’s difficult to be here sometimes. This room—” This room is the one I came back to after. After my father. After Caroline. After, after, after. “When I’m with you, there’s distance. It doesn’t hurt as much.”

She runs her fingers through my hair. “Does it feel good?” A sweet question. A sweet voice. God, fuck, I love her. “To live, I mean.”

Because there were times I didn’t want to.

“You feel good.” I get to my feet and kiss her. “You feel so fucking good. Yes. Every breath feels good with you. Every heartbeat.” I laugh out loud. “I loved Christmas before, but I had no idea what it would feel like with you.”

“What is it like?”

“A miracle.”