And I suppose that may be true, but what I really loved about the ice cream shop meet cute was the tension in the air, the aesthetic backdrop, the setting. So much cuter to think I actually found the love of my life surrounded by my favorite dessert than at some sweaty frat party, though I guess it doesn’t really matter either way since they were both only “reality-inspired.”

“I guess the fans will choose which story is true love,” I say. “The ice cream shop meet cute’s already one of my most popular stories. Clearly he was my soul mate.”

“You know real relationships take actual work, right?” Becca says. “You’re never gonna find a real soul mate if you keep living vicariously through the blog. You have to look at actual, you know, real life.”

“The blog is real life,” I say, because it’s my life. It’s the single greatest thing I’ve ever made and probably ever will. It’s the entirety of my life’s work and my hopes and dreams all perfectly packaged to share with a world of strangers.

“No, it’s fantasy. It’s not like everything just cruises after the meet cute.”

“Which reminds me!” I sing, picking up my phone to look for the file.

I knew Becca would say something like this, so I’ve been working on the perfect solution. See, Becca constitutes the more cynical side of our duo. Even when we first met over a science project, she was a take-no-nonsense, get-the-work-done kind of person, and I respect that even if it’s just not the way I prefer to do things. I like to believe in happy ever afters and hidden magic because, well, the world kind of sucks, and sometimes, the hope for a fairy-tale romance is all we’ve really got. Meanwhile, Becca’s always been a bit skeptical about finding the perfect romance ever since her parents got divorced back in seventh grade, but she’s not her parents and neither am I.

Once the file’s sent, I look to my phone and meet her eyes. She looks studious for a moment as she skims the note before finally breaking out into a fit of uncontained laughter.

“What the hell is this garbage?” she says between laughs.

I roll my eyes. “It’s my twelve steps to the perfect relationship! You know, because it doesn’t just end with the meet cute.”

Becca groans. “Noah, I meant you have to commit yourself to a relationship and put in the work to stay with the person, not wait for”—she squints at the screen—“The Trip, aka The Fall Part One.”