“Drew took me on an interesting date today,” I say.

Becca looks at me like she’s about to hang up. Then she says, “Where’d he take you?”

So I recount everything she missed, finally ending with all the stuff from earlier from Red Rocks to my near blackout over lunch.

Finally, Becca says, “So are you guys a thing yet?”

“We’re not not a thing.”

Becca scoffs, but there might be a little bit of a smirk on her face, like she’s just a little bit happy that she’s not the only one who’s still single.

So I almost feel bad saying, “Things are going great,” because I know it must feel shitty knowing that I’m building an amazing relationship when hers didn’t work out. But I also hope she’ll at least be happy for me, and maybe some of that happiness will help her forget about Gina Paris forever. “I mean, we’re technically still fake boyfriends, but he’s definitely into me. We’ve worked past the Hesitation and are well into the Tether, and then I’m sure we’ll finalize everything.”

Becca rolls her eyes, but it’s a better gesture than hanging up. “Yeah, okay. Don’t you think these categories are a little ridiculous?”

“No, not at all,” I say, and really, they’re great. Not only are they the perfect rubric for the Diary, but they’re all working, like I was gifted some divine inspiration as I jotted them down. It’s the perfect way for me to guide us into a secure, lasting relationship.

“Don’t you think it’s kind of exploitative to try to trick him into falling in love with you using his love of the Diary?”

Which, wow, okay, rude. It’s not like I found some random guy off the street and told him he had to fall in love with me. The Diary is me. It’s all of my inner desires and hopes and dreams. Drew was the one who suggested the fake date in the first place, and if he really didn’t want to go along with it, he could stop at any time.

And I know I’m glaring as I say, “Believe me, Drew’s into me. I’m not exploiting anything, just helping him see more clearly.”

“I think you just need to make sure you’re actually into him, not just using him to mark off checkpoints on your pegboard.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” I snap.