The rideshare smells like weed, which, given I’m in Denver, Colorado, on my way to a college barbecue, I have to admit is a bit too stereotypical, even for me. My brother, Brian, sits by the opposite window, animatedly talking to our driver like the real social butterfly he is. Me? I’ve got my eyes trained on my phone, reading through the DMs sent after my latest blog post. I shoot back little heart emojis and tons of thanks to my many adoring fans. Just enough to show them I still care since I’m going to be preoccupied with family time for the rest of the day.

Mountains fly by outside the window, and I have to keep myself from gawking at them because wow, literally everything’s beautiful out here—the trees, the mountains, the vast majority of the guys I’ve bumped into since I got dropped off.

It’s funny because I’m in this strange land that’s so different from where I come from, but it’s also kind of comforting. There’s no one here to remember who I used to be, to tell me I have to live like I did for the past sixteen years of my existence. I’m barreling down the highway of my new life with no one to pull that back-seat driver BS.

And even if I don’t pass, there’s a part of me that’s starting to get swept up in the magic just a little bit too. Like maybe all I needed was a change of scenery for my real life to begin.

So when Brian invited me to tag along to this college bro-fest, I hesitantly agreed. I mean, hanging out with my brother and all of his frat brothers isn’t exactly my definition of a good time, but I’m stuck here for the summer while my parents make the great move from Florida to California, and as annoying as college guys are, I can’t exactly find fuel for my blog locked in a closet all day.

I mean, I’m basically the queer Superman, putting on a secret identity that makes me even hotter just so I can go around saving people with my ultra-secret project.

It’s called the Meet Cute Diary, a blog designed to bring love to trans kids in need.

In a lot of ways, it’s the single most important thing in my life.