And yes, I did just scream that very loudly, and I’m sure everyone in the office is marveling at what a total loser I am. Actually, this will probably go down as one of those infamous “Christmas Party” stories. Oh my God! Do you guys remember that time Noah shouted his love to someone who totally rejected him? Hilarious!

Devin’s mouth gapes, a blush rising in eir cheeks, but e doesn’t say anything, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say at this point. I feel like I should reassure em, tell em it’s totally okay that e doesn’t feel the same.

And then e says, “Wait, really?”

I shrug. “Yeah. It’s not really that weird.”

E shakes eir head. “No, for me it is. Say it again.”

I just raise an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Just do it, please. I need to make sure I heard you right.”

God, of all the things I took Devin for, cruel isn’t one of them, but I oblige anyway. “Devin, I have feelings for you. Romantic feelings. Hell, I’d even go so far as to say I’m in love with you. I just—I’ve never met anyone like you before, and I needed you to know how I feel before camp ends.”

And I don’t know what I’m expecting at this point, but it’s certainly not for tears to start slipping down Devin’s cheeks, eir eyes wide as e says, “I love you too.”

“You—wait, what?”

E shrugs. “I mean, I thought I was totally obvious. I figured that was why you bailed on the party—because you didn’t want your boyfriend to see how into you I was.”

I shake my head because I feel like e’s just started speaking Vulcan. “You’ve been into me all this time?”

E nods. “Yeah, I guess I have.”

And I cross the space between us in a second, pulling eir face to mine, our lips pressed together. My nose bumps into eirs, our chins smooshed together.

And e reels back, eyes wide, breath ragged.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

E nods, but I might as well have punched em in the chest. Eir cheeks are flushed, eir hands shaky. “I’m sorry,” e chokes out. “It’s just—I’ve never kissed anyone before and I—”

I take eir hand in mine, only to find I’m a little shaky myself. I rub my thumb over eir knuckles. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first.”

Devin laughs, squeezing my hand. “It’s okay. You just—you caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t fair for me to kiss you when you weren’t ready.”

I let go of eir hand, taking a step back. E still looks a little ragged, like the wind just blew through and shook us both to our cores.