I try to stop my lip from curling, but I’m pretty sure Brian sees it anyway. “Sorry,” I say, “but I’m going out with Drew.”

“Oh, right,” he says. “Well, it sure is a good thing that you have plans, otherwise I might think that you actually hate Maggie.”

I sigh. “I don’t hate her,” I say, which is mostly true. “Hate” is a strong word even if I really, really, really don’t like her. “I just don’t like that you’ve been different since you started dating her.”

Brian raises an eyebrow. “Dude, I’m in college. I moved across the country. It’d be a lot weirder if I hadn’t changed, and believe me, that has very little to do with Maggie.”

And on the one hand, I know he’s right, but I still kind of hate it. It feels like I’m losing control, and I know that’s not fair because Brian can do what he wants with his life, but it’s the same as when Becca told me she was talking to a TERF. I hate knowing that the people I love are only one relationship away from deciding I’m not that important anymore.

“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t get a cute dog instead.”

Brian laughs. “Okay, well, that’s not going to happen, so what’s bothering you? Is this about your boyfriend?”

“It’s Becca,” I say. “Well, and Devin, and I guess Drew a little bit too.”

“You’re not secretly dating all of them, are you?”

I roll my eyes. “Fuck off, Brian. You know Becca’s a lesbian.”

And really, I’m mostly gay. There’s only been a handful of non-guys who’ve ever tickled my fancy, and Becca is absolutely not one of them.

“I’m just trying to make sure we’re on the same page.”

But we can’t be, really, because he can’t know about the Diary, which means he can’t know about the intricacies of my relationship with Drew. He can’t know how we met or why we got together, or that we have to stay together because the Diary’s supporters care more about my relationship with Drew than my writing, so losing Drew means losing the Diary, and I can’t let that happen.

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Breakyourheartsomeday asked: Hey, Noah, I know you’re probably super busy, but I was wondering when we’ll be getting more relationship updates. I know you’re dealing with the article, but I’d really love to see more relationship updates when you get the chance. They’ve got me hooked on the blog!

Drew shows up at the apartment just after five. We grab sandwiches from the deli down the street before heading to the get-together.

“I don’t trust them to have food,” he says. “They eat some weird shit.”