Contents ( 30)
- Asses to Ashes
- Second Chances
- Speedbumps
- White Gloves
- Big Orange Button
- Barber Bot
- Mechanical Failure
- Report: A-255FR-01124-B
- Too Stupid to Be an Ensign
- Ein Klein Flottenchef
- A Carefully Thought-Out Decision to Get the Hell Out of Dodge
- Oh, Chute
- Report: A-267FR-02147-E
- A Man and His Droid
- Military Unintelligence
- Improperganda
- Report: C-7FG-2923-X
- Big Red Data
- The Military Never Said Anything About War
- Report: N-1FG-5299-Z
- Stick This in You
- Report: N-1FG-5299-Z-2
- Go Boom
- A Breach of Protocol
- The Legend of Ticket
- ORDER: A-222FR-02134-K
- The German-Irish Inflammation Conflagration
- The Gravity of the Situation
- Captain Rogers
- Acknowledgments
“McSchmidt,” Rogers said, turning to the intelligence officer, who was looking much more worried than everyone else on the ship. “I want to talk to you outside. Everyone else, you are to continue with your duties or at least continue looking busy until the admiral returns.”
Everyone snapped to, engaging in the important-looking activities of picking things up and putting them down again, walking briskly from one station to another to examine a console that had nothing to do with their jobs, and pointing curiously at blinking lights on panels.
Rogers left the briefing room, immediately followed by both McSchmidt and Deet. When they were out of earshot of the rest of the bridge, Rogers motioned for McSchmidt to come closer so he could talk privately, but McSchmidt was looking over his shoulder.
“What is that?” McSchmidt said.
Rogers turned around and saw a brand-new propaganda poster plastered on the wall, but there was something different about it, something he couldn’t quite place.
Oh, that was it. It was a picture of a giant panda bear with a melted face wearing overalls, sitting in the branches of a lemon tree. Underneath was written I CAN TASTE THE COLORS.
Rogers choked back a laugh. “I have no idea,” he said. “But more importantly, McSchmidt,” he said, lowering his voice, “I think there’s a spy aboard the Flagship.”
The intel officer’s eyes widened. “A spy?” He swallowed. “Why would you think something like that?”
Rogers pointed his thumb at Deet. “Deet here has noticed that there are listening devices in Klein’s stateroom. I think there might be listening devices in other places as well. Do you think it’s a coincidence that two times in a row, the Thelicosans changed their battle formations immediately after we suggested it?”
“Yes,” McSchmidt said. “I do.”
Rogers looked at him flatly.
“Okay, so maybe it’s a little suspicious,” McSchmidt said. “I just don’t want us to rush into anything rash, like a giant, ship-wide spy hunt or anything.”
Rogers hesitated. “I wasn’t suggesting that.”
“Good,” McSchmidt said. “Because it would be a bad idea. I don’t think you’d find him.” He cleared his throat. “Or her. Or it. Maybe it’s a droid?”
“Why in the world would anyone have a droid as a spy?” Rogers said. “It wouldn’t make any sense. They’d be saying things like CALL FUNCTION [SPY ON MERIDANS] and crap like that. Do the Thellies even have droids?”
“Sir!” The door to the bridge opened, and the defense tech popped his head out. “I wanted to let you know we received the damage report.”
“And?”
“And nothing was damaged, sir.”
Rogers frowned. “Nothing?”
“Nothing. Our shields didn’t even take an impact.”
“Do we even know what was fired at us?”
“It appears that nothing was fired at us at all,” the tech said. “But some of our sensors picked up targeting emissions from that ship that came by. So, it almost looks like they were about to attack us but didn’t. Lieutenant Commander Belgrave said it was probably just a pirating ship with its munitions armed that got lost.”