“That’s what you mean!” McSchmidt said. “The droids established a secret network to prevent you from discovering that they’ve been providing false reports about Thelicosan preparations for war while they weaseled their way into more positions of authority!”

The whole cabin went completely silent, with the exception of the witless baboon, who made a hooting noise and swung around on one of the overhead handrails.

“Yes,” Rogers said, feeling, strangely, both completely numb and murderously violent. “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. And now we’re all going to die because the droids just heard every word you said.”

Deet beeped. “Is that what you’re worried about? I was just going to tell you that there aren’t any listening devices on the transportation cars inside the ship, but you told me to shut up.”

Rogers let out a deep breath. “Well, that’s some good news. At least we’re not all going to die.”

“Oh,” Deet said, “you’re all definitely going to die. But not because the rest of the droids overheard you uncovering their plan. It probably has something more to do with the large boominite explosive device sitting in the engineering bay and ready to blow a planet-sized hole in the Flagship.”

Everyone on the car looked at Deet.

“Yes,” he said, nodding. “That will probably kill you first. Long before all this poisoned food you keep talking about will, anyway.”

I. Don’t ask.

Report: N-1FG-5299-Z-2

Serial: N-1FG-5299-Z-2

Distribution: DBS//DSS//DAK//DFR//BB//CLOSED NETWORK A66

Classification: Special Protocol Required

Summary: Regarding the previous order to belay the order regarding the order for the preservation of Human 2552’s life.

Details: Never mind. Kill Rogers.

Report Submitted By: F-GC-001

Go Boom

“How exactly did they manage to build a boominite explosive device in the engineering bay?” McSchmidt asked.

“They didn’t,” Deet replied. “You did.”

“What?”

“I told you not to stack those god-damn containers like that!” Rogers said. “You gave them a bomb, you idiot!”

“I was just doing what it said to do in the regulation,” McSchmidt said. “If I started failing inspections, I’d get kicked out of the MPF. That wouldn’t make for a very good spy, would it?”

“A better spy than one running around, quoting military leaders that died two thousand years ago,” Rogers said. “What are you doing on our ship, anyway?”

“Spying,” McSchmidt said. “Kind of part of the job description, no? Thanks for promoting me to Intelligence, by the way.”

“I still think your accent sucks,” Tunger muttered.

“I am going to strangle you if you talk to me again,” McSchmidt said. “I know how to do it, too. They taught me in spy school.”

“I don’t think I need an instruction manual, you Thellie scum,” the Viking said. She took a large step toward McSchmidt, hands outstretched, the force of her movement rocking the car. Rogers held out a hand, more for the chance to touch her than to try and prevent any harm from coming to McSchmidt. He could really care less about that idiot. Surprisingly, she yielded to his gesture.