When he sets his hand on the top of my chair, his knuckles brush against my upper back and I malfunction again, letting out a noise that sounds something like, “Glumph.”

He shoots me a concerned look, and May brings her hand up to her mouth, probably to cover an amused expression.

“Are you okay?” Grant asks.

I nod vigorously. “Yeah. Sorry. Had something in my throat.”

Travis is still looking at me like he can’t decide if I need the Heimlich or a mental wellness check. Guess Elise didn’t need to worry about embarrassing me. Nope, I can do that just fine on my own, thank you.

“Hey, Grandma,” May says, drawing everyone’s attention from me. The sweet angel. I take back calling her a traitor. “There are a couple salads on the menu that I think you’d like. They’re really good.”

“How would you know?” I ask. “You don’t eat salad.”

“No, you don’t eat salad. But I do sometimes, when you’re not around asking if I want a burger.”

Clutching a hand to my heart and laying on the theatrics, I tell her, “I’m so disappointed in you.”

Elise and Grant look appalled at this, but before either of them can comment on how horrible of a parent I am, Travis jumps in with, “He’s kidding.”

“Yeah, totally kidding,” I confirm. They really don’t get my sense of humor.

“Anyway, can I grab everyone something to drink?” Travis offers, gracefully moving us all along. For which I’m so grateful, I could kiss him.

Or not kiss him. It’s not like I want to kiss him. Whatever.

He’s quick to get a cup of coffee in front of me, which helps me chill out somewhat, so that I make it through lunch without blowing the fake dating cover. Or blowing Travis’s cover to anyone.

And I swear I don’t think about blowing Travis at all.

Okay, maybe just once, when I turned my head to find him standing beside me with his crotch practically at mouth level.

I mean, seriously. I eat at these damn tables in this diner all the time, and I’ve never noticed this phenomenon before. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was purposefully fucking with me. But no. Pretty sure I’ve fucked with myself by coming up with this hare-brained scheme.

How am I supposed to make it through Elise and Grant’s trip pretending to date this man without doing something stupid and disastrous like throwing myself at him?

He’s my friend, I remind myself firmly.

He’s my friend, and I want him to stay my friend. I don’t want him like that. This whole pretending thing is just making everything confusing. But it’ll be fine. I’ll get myself together.

At least, I’d better. And I’d better do it fast.

CHAPTER TEN

TRAVIS