He sucks in a small breath, and I want to kiss the surprise off his face. But I also kind of want to find a hole to bury myself in, because what the fuck. That was closer to confessing my feelings for him than I’m comfortable with.

Before I can do anything, though, Roddy shouts, “Places!” and we sort of hobble our way over to the starting line. I mirror Brenden by wrapping my arm tightly around his waist so we can support each other. Then the race begins, and I do my best to call out directions so we can move together, but it’s confusing, and we stumble a bit too much.

It seems a lot of teams are struggling. Some fall behind, but no one really pulls ahead. Brenden and I manage to keep up with the top of the pack, despite our lack of coordination. The closer we get to the finish line, the more determined I become, squeezing him to me tighter as I propel us forward.

When I see the O’Brien twins pulling out in front of us, I know we can’t afford to let them win after they came in second to us in the egg toss. So I push myself to go faster and end up practically carrying Brenden over the line, where we collapse together in a heap.

We’re both huffing for breath, but we won.

“Oh my god!” Brenden pants. “That was awesome! You were awesome!”

“You deserve to win,” I tell him plainly.

He stares at me for a moment. Then his eyes drift down toward my mouth, and he starts to lean in closer. I tense instinctually, which makes him freeze.

“Sorry,” he whispers.

I don’t know what to say. It seems like I’m the one who should be sorry.

Because I want to kiss him too, but I can’t. Not in public. He knew from the start this is how things have to be. Yet that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty or wishing it could be different. Wishing I could give him everything.

Reaching between us for his hand, I give it a long squeeze. And I hope maybe that tells him some of the things I can’t.

I thought the first three events were ridiculous, but I wasn’t prepared for this. As someone ties a blindfold around my eyes, I question my sanity. I’m a grown ass man being blindfolded, and it’s not for any kinky sex thing. Nope. I’m about to run through an obstacle course, relying on Brenden to call out directions and keep me from dying.

Okay, maybe death is dramatic. It’s a simple course. But still. What the fuck.

I’d much rather be the one leading while Brenden makes a fool of himself, but he shot that down real fast. He told me I’m not the best communicator, and I couldn’t argue with that.