She reaches out a veiny hand to pat my forearm. “People can change, can’t they? You never know. Can’t say I’d ever want to take a dick up the ass, but to each his own. And you’ve been alone for so long. Wouldn’t you like to find someone? I’m only saying, it might be nice. Might be a good match.”

My eyes have grown so wide I’m afraid they might fall out of my skull. Pretty sure I heard Ellie, the children’s librarian, choking on her food at the dick-up-the-ass part.

Okay, I need to get myself together and shut this down before gossip leaks back to my dad.

“Mrs. Morris,” I say, fighting to keep my voice even. “This isn’t an appropriate conversation to have here while I’m working. Not sure where you got these ideas, but it’s not really appropriate for you to ask me about my sex life at all.”

“I’m not asking about your sex life, I’m asking about your dating life,” she counters. As if the words dick and ass didn’t come out of her mouth in a horrifying way that I’ll never be able to forget.

“Either way, I don’t think my personal life is any of your business.”

“I only want to know you’re happy, dear. We all want you to be happy. Especially your father. He’d be thrilled to see you finally settle down. He worries about you, you know.”

He wants me to find a woman and settle down, I think bitterly. Pretty sure he wouldn’t be thrilled if he found out I was dating Brenden.

Not that I really am. Or ever will be.

“I promise you, I’m happy,” I tell her. And if the words feel forced...

“If you were happy, you wouldn’t be such a grouch all the time.”

Someone laughs at that, but I don’t look to see who. I’d give anything for this not to be happening.

Gritting my teeth to avoid yelling at a senior citizen, I ask, “Mrs. Morris, would you like to order anything?”

She looks at me like I’m the crazy one, then says, “No dear, I already ate. Have a nice day.” And with that, she turns and strides out, leaving behind a trail of her overly floral perfume.

In her absence, I risk a glance around the room. Most of the tables are filled with customers. Neighbors. Gossips. And everyone’s eyes are on me.

“What are you all looking at?” I snap. “Eat your food or get out.”

That does the trick. Everyone returns their focus to their plates and their dining companions, but I’m left reeling.