“I can’t believe you think that guy is attractive,” said Touchstone. He’d left the couch for me and Ros and was sprawled on the ground in front of us, propped up on one elbow, in a position that reminded me, not unfavorably, of my dog Tabitha (my other dog, Buckets, preferred the couch).

“I can’t believe you don’t,” Ros said. “I’m not even into guys, and I think he’s good-looking.”

“He looks like a fish,” said Touchstone.

“A fish,” I yelled. “Are we looking at the same person?”

“It’s his eyes! I can’t believe I’ve never noticed this before. He’s got weird googly eyes, like a fish. They should call him Old Fish Eyes,” said Touchstone.

“If he’s got fish eyes, then sign me up,” I said. As if I even had a shot in my wildest dreams; he and Ronnie were dating in real life.

“We know, Celia; you’re obsessed with him,” said Touchstone.

“I’m not obsessed,” I said. “It’s just that he’s objectively hot.”

“I have to agree,” said Ros.

“Y’all are out of your minds,” said Touchstone, and settled back in to watch the show. He was, for the most part, a good sport about watching episode after episode of Power Jam.

We watched as Blade was punished by having to join the Soul Crushers, much to the dismay of Kenna, the captain. “He’s never skated before in his life!” she said. “In spite of being named Blade!” She thrust her old roller skates at him, and then came the wonderful moment when Blade turns out to be a natural, a roller-skating savant. We sang along to the song that played over the montage of him skating beautifully, and Touchstone plugged his ears, and miraculously, I started to feel a little better.

“Thank you,” I said to both Ros and Touchstone—though Touchstone still had his ears plugged, so Ros was the only one to hear.

“Anytime,” Ros said, and they wiped an errant piece of river grit from my temple.

We finished episodes three, four, and half of five before we decided, as a group, to turn into a deep, homesick-less sleep.

Footnote