Chapters (34)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- WELCOME TO THE LILY PAD,or A Brief Introduction to Power Jam
- FULL CELIA GILBERT,or the Tragic Fate of My Tennis Racket
- THE CREATION OF THE CHORE WHEEL,or Why You Should Always Travel with a Hammer
- GO, SOUL CRUSHERS,or My Mother’s Take on Power Jam
- A PARTY,or Why I Don’t Eat Tuna in Front of Touchstone
- The Story of Ros, Part I
- A TRIP TO THE TOWN,or the Victor of the Great Flamingo Debate
- TAKING MEASUREMENTS,or the Tale of Oliver Teller’s Sprained Wrist
- THE LAST SUPPER,or the Structural Unsoundness of Veggie Burgers
- The Story of Ros, Part II
- VOYAGE TO THE TOGSHOP,or a Brief History of the Doublet
- LOVE SONG FOR A COPEPOD,or My Mom’s Take on My Tennis Coach
- The Story of Ros, Part III
- AVIAN DEMISE,or Bruised Tailbones and Lost Sunglasses
- NEEDLE AND BONE,or On Losing My Voice
- The Story of Ros, Part IV
- FRYING AN EGG,or a Compendium of Shirtless Blade Scenes
- The Story of Ros, Part V
- THE DROPPED ACORN REVISITED,or French Words That Start with W
- MASTER CLASS: THE BODY IN MOTION
- THE TRIUMVIRATE REUNITED,or Planning a Party
- DINNER THEATER,or a Crash Course in Limes
- EIGHTEEN COURT LANE,or Dog Therapy
- The Story of Ros, Part VI
- RETURN TO THE LILY PAD,or the Hilarity of a Bologna Sandwich
- THE YETI COSTUME,or Power Jam, Season Three
- JUMPING IN,or On Waiting for Guys
- A CHANCE ENCOUNTER,or Lessons I Have Learned
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- Discover More
- About the Author
I blinked. Of course my mom was right. Of course Ros couldn’t just leave home. Of course I’d thrown a pie at their head for no reason.
I felt my eyes fill with tears.
“Oh, Celia,” my mom said.
“It’s fine,” I said, though it didn’t feel fine. It felt like nothing would ever be the same ever again. “It’s just—I’ve been having some trouble with Ros—they’re there, but they’re not there—and it’s been really hard to be supportive.…”
“What does Andrew have to say about all of this?”
I snorted. “That I’m obsessed with Ros. That I’m a bootlicker. Oh, and Machiavellian. I can’t forget that.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound very nice.”
“I think I deserved it,” I said. “I’m a really bad friend.”
“I don’t think that.”
“I threw a pie at Ros’s head.”
“You what?”
“I—”
The whole story came spilling out of me. I told her about the key lime pie and the Cinderella dress. I meant to stop there, but once I got started, I couldn’t seem to stop. I told her about doing Ros’s physics homework. About how empty the Lily Pad felt at night, about that one night I was alone, about how the bird had flown into the window but how I thought it was something much, much worse, how scared I had been, how the trees looked like something else.
“I would have come,” my mom said.
“You would have hopped in your car at three a.m.?”
“Sure,” my mom said. “I’ve got very stylish pajamas. I’d love the opportunity to show them off to the world.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said.
I let myself feel it: how lucky I was to have a parent who would come help me.
“You should not have been doing Ros’s physics homework,” my mom said.
“Mom. Seriously? I thought we were having a moment.”
“I’m serious, Celia. You were cheating; you know that, right? That’s cheating.”
“I didn’t benefit,” I said.
“Celia,” my mom said.
“Yeah—yeah. I know.”
“And you know I didn’t raise you to take things that aren’t yours.”
“I know.”
“That’s entitlement, Celia. The world is not yours for the conquering. You are part of this world, and you have to be a good neighbor.”
I was silent. She was right, though I didn’t like hearing it.
“I want to go back to the physics homework.…”
“Oh my God, really?”
“Can I talk for a second, please? You should not have been doing Ros’s physics homework. But I care less about the rules in this case and more about why you were doing it. Why were you doing it? Did they ask you?”
“I offered,” I said. “They would have failed without me.”