“Is there anything else we need to cover?” I ask, looking up at him.

“I’m sure there is,” he says, “but right now I’m just sort of . . . rewiring everything inside my head.”

“I mean . . . that’s understandable. I’ve had eleven years to process it, you’ve had just a moment. I want you to know—it’s okay if you have some hurt here.” I rub my hand over his breastbone. “I know it’s not going to be this immediate clearing of the air.”

He takes a few seconds before replying, and when he does, his voice is hoarse. “Losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, and I still feel the echo of that—those were really hard years—but it helps, knowing. As terrible as it is, it helps to know.” He looks at me, and his eyes fill again. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when Duncan died.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I just vanished.” I kiss his shoulder.

He reaches up with his free hand, wiping a palm down his face. “Honey, you lost your mom at ten, and your dad at eighteen. It sucks that you disappeared, but it’s not like I don’t get it. Holy shit, your life just . . . crumbled that day.”

I move my hand under his shirt, up over his stomach, coming to rest above his heart. “It was terrible.” I press my face to where his neck meets shoulder, trying to push away those memories and inhaling the familiar smell of him. “What were those years like for you?”

He hums, thinking. “I focused on school. If you mean romantically, I had so much guilt that I didn’t really get involved with anyone until later.”

My heart aches at this. “Alex said you didn’t bring anyone home until Rachel.”

“Can we be clear about one thing?” he says, kissing my hair. “Definitively, and without question?”

“What’s that?” I love the solid feel of him next to me. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough.

“That I love you,” he whispers, tilting my chin so I’ll look up at him. “Okay?”

“I love you, too.” Emotion fills my chest, making my words come out strangled. I will always miss my parents, but I have Elliot back. Together we were able to resurrect something.

His lips press to my forehead. “Do you think we can do this?” he asks, keeping his lips there. “Do we get our chance now to be together together?”

“We’ve certainly earned it.”

He pulls back, looking at me. “I’ve just been lying here, thinking. In some ways, I should have figured it out. I should have wondered why Duncan never came back. I just assumed you were both so angry at me.”

“Over time I let myself trust my memories more.” I reach up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “I realized whether or not you had something casual and consistent with Emma, you did really love me.”