Chapters (41)
‘Can’t it be both?’ The atmosphere is suddenly awkward again. Why is this so difficult? Come on, Tilly, just tell the man how you feel. If you can’t do it when he’s in your bed, there’s no hope for you.
‘I’m…’ he begins before I have a chance to speak, before stopping again.
‘Yes?’
‘I explained to you, didn’t I…’ he tries, but that’s obviously not going anywhere either.
‘Just spit it out, Will,’ I urge.
‘What if I’m not what you want?’ he blurts eventually.
‘What if you’re everything I want?’ I counter.
‘I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, but…’
‘But what?’ This isn’t going the way I wanted it to at all, and I’m starting to wonder if I’ve spooked him. I can’t let things carry on the way they are though, so I decide to up the ante. ‘If you’re not into me, have the guts to tell me straight.’
‘God, no! That’s not it at all. I’m just… scared of misreading the signals or getting it wrong, I guess.’
This is wounded Will talking again, I can tell. Cass has a lot to answer for.
‘There’s nothing to be scared of,’ I murmur as I lean forward and plant kisses on his nose and forehead before dropping my mouth to his lips again. ‘I’ve got you.’
As I kiss him, his mouth begins to widen into a full-on smile. I can feel his hesitancy melting away as he starts to kiss me more confidently. I wriggle in closer to him as he brings his arm across me and places his hand in the small of my back. As our kisses deepen, I almost jolt with pleasure as he brings it down onto my bum. It’s neither of the places I was imagining earlier, but that doesn’t diminish the pleasure, especially when he strokes the back of my thigh almost lazily. I’m pressed hard against him now and, from what I can tell, he’s definitely got the right idea about where this is going.
* * *
‘Finally!’ Tash practically shouts down the phone when I tell her that evening. It was supposed to be a routine call and I had no intention of saying anything about Will, but she accused me of sounding weird and dragged the story out of me. ‘Although you could have found a less extreme way of luring him into your bed.’
‘I didn’t plan it!’
‘Evidently. Anyway, despite nearly contracting hypothermia and having to visit your own department as a consumer – how embarrassing – you finally sealed the deal. I might have to open champagne. Hang on a minute. Greg, have we still got that bottle of Veuve Clicquot in the fridge?’
‘Tash. Opening champagne to celebrate your sister having sex is seriously fucked up. Do not do it.’