She took a deep breath. Of all the things he should hear—he had to hear this. “There is a part of me that I still have . . . the part I thought I lost is still here.” She held up her necklace. “The part of me that doesn’t love just for safety, but loves the way I once loved him—recklessly, with all of me—the part of me that loves you and Molly and Jack—is still here. It’s not Nick I love. He just made me remember . . . it’s not him at all.”

Phil crossed his arms as a shield across his chest and backed further away. “We were safe . . . just safe . . . ?”

“No, Phil, that is not it. I was trying to be safe, afraid that if I loved with all of me, I’d get hurt, abandoned again. I know I’m not making any sense, and you still may not be able to hear it, but of all things—I need you to understand how much I love you and Molly and Jack.”

He closed his eyes and turned away. “Go ahead. I’m listening. I don’t understand what you’re saying, but go ahead.”

“I got lost. I thought that part of me was gone and that I needed to get it from somewhere . . . else. And now I know. I was out there looking for what is already here in me, with me.”

“Lost—where Amy, where?” He slammed the counter with his fist. “In the marsh, in the woods, in him, in what, for God’s sake?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. I got lost in remembering that other Amy, the one who loved like that. And I thought it was him. . . you know? That it was all wrapped up in him—but it was in me . . . still in me. I never lost it or even gave it to him—”

“You think it’s that simple? You find an old necklace . . . tell me you got lost, just old memories . . . that it’s that simple and the explanation will cure everything?”

“No . . . God, no. I don’t think it’s simple at all. I’m trying to explain. I’m standing here, humiliated, ashamed, knowing you’ll never believe in me the same way, that I’ll never think the same of myself. I’m standing here knowing all the terrible parts of me are showing and I’m so scared that you’ll never love me again. I’m trying to find my way back to something I don’t deserve—that I know I don’t deserve—and I’m asking you to see . . . to listen. I’m trying to show you why and how I got lost. To ask you to forgive me.”

The front door slammed and Molly’s footsteps pounded up the stairs on the other side of the house. Phil looked at Amy, whispered, “What you did . . . It can never be the same.”