I’m standing in the middle of the sidewalk, trying not to look like a pathetic old man waiting for someone who’ll find his salt and pepper beard sexy instead of sad. I want to look like someone who hasn’t been doing some deep-dive research on orthodontic shoe inserts, which are just good for foot health and have nothing to do with age.

But there’s no stance I can strike that will hide that I am absolutely the kind of man who likes to pace when I’m stressed. Usually, I walk in circles and splutter an expletive-laced monologue to pump myself up, but I keep the monologue internal today. I don’t want to undermine what will probably be a borderline first impression anyway.

“Darren?”

I freeze at the sound of my name, in a cute squeak of a voice that’s full of energy as if whoever’s speaking has been up for hours and her veins are already full of caffeine or adrenaline. My back is to her, and the anticipation I feel as I slowly turn to face her is honestly too much for me to handle this early in the morning. I stifle a yawn and use the scant few seconds before I come face-to-face with her to center myself and pray.

Lord, don’t let this young girl laugh in my face.

I matched with Jourdan Brooks one month ago. I won’t pretend as if she was the only woman I was interested in, but she was the first one who made me sit up straight in my chair and take notice. And after two glasses of red wine and a sliver of an edible, that impulse was more than notable. I remember feeling loose. Her profile was bold, all of her pictures skirting the edge of acceptable per InfiniThree’s profile guidelines. I know because I’d read them closely. Jourdan, I assume, had probably clicked ‘accept’ without a second thought about terms and conditions.

I liked that about her.

At the time, the differences were alluring; they even made a kind of sense. If I was going to do this, then I should do this. I should try something new. I should shake up my life.

The fact that Jourdan is even more beautiful in person gives me a shallow rush when we come face-to-face for the first time. She’s the kind of beautiful that makes an older man like me think he’s a little invincible. She has big brown eyes that are almost molten in their warmth. Her wide mouth and thick lips draw my eyes immediately, and her berry lipstick only accentuates the attention that kind of mouth deserves. It is impossible not to imagine those lips around my dick, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for days. My brain had already created a pathway, and it speeds right there today.