“Yes.”

“Good. Me too. I’ve gotta get to work.”

“Oh. Fuck. Okay,” I breathe, completely lost in the moment. “You seemed sweet,” I say out of the blue. “You looked sweet and sexy, and you have a dorky sense of humor. That’s why we picked you.”

Her smile is radiant.

She bites the inside of her cheek and bends forward to brush a kiss on the corner of my mouth, and then a trail of butterfly kisses across my cheek. Her mouth is at my ear again. “Ask your wife if I can suck you off next time,” she says before jumping up from my lap.

I’m so close to coming in my pants, it’s embarrassing. What’s even more embarrassing is that I could beg Jourdan to sit on me again, and I’m seriously considering it. I think she knows I want to because she winks and gives me one last look at her tongue tangling around her straw before she turns to leave.

“Fuck,” is all I can whisper to myself while I sit and wait for my hard-on to subside.

the cleanup

I feel guilty all day. I shouldn’t. I haven’t done anything wrong, but I do.

By the time I get home, I’m so fucking tired of feeling alternately horny and sad that I can barely stand up straight. All I want to do is get inside, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over my head for the next week.

“Hi, daddy,” the boys yell at the top of their tongues as soon as I step into the door. Instead of walking into my peaceful home, that greeting is like hitting a brick wall of kid energy, and it depletes my already-drained internal battery by half.

“Hey, boys. How was your day?”

I don’t really hear what they say next because the twins have a terrible habit of speaking at the same time. It was cute when they were doing baby talk, and most of their words were just the same syllable on repeat, but now there are stories they want me to hear and process and remember. It’s hard when I’m not exhausted, but practically impossible right now. I can barely tell their voices apart. The most I can do is nod and smile and make meaningful eye contact with each of them in turn, waiting until they get bored of me and turn back to their video games.

I’m yawning by the time they set me free.

My feet are dragging on the carpet as I move slowly up the stairs.