Plus,” I continue, “it’s good experience for me to work with kids. I can learn how to identify what their needs are. Not everybody learns the same way. It’s probably much better practice, figuring that out now than waiting until I’m in front of a classroom of twenty or thirty kids.”

“Like getting thrown in the deep end,” Colt muses, nodding slowly. “That doesn’t help the kids who really need it.”

“That’s right. That’s exactly it.” I’m almost pitifully relieved that he agrees with me, that he gets it. This food is delicious, but what I really need to sustain me is being understood, being seen. That’s what I’m starving for. Colt is probably playing on that, knowing the kind of predator he is. He finds a weakness and preys on it.

“It’s been a long time since I had something that good,” I admit, desperate to change the subject.

“That doesn’t surprise me. No offense, but your mom isn’t the best cook. I mean, she tries.” Nix grimaces, and the three of us chuckle together.

“We really didn’t have much to work with for a long time,” I remind them, even though he’s absolutely right. But I do feel like somebody should defend her, at least in front of them. If I was talking to a friend, my response might be different. “And she only wanted to impress you guys, I’m sure. She went a little overboard.”

“She didn’t have to waste her energy.” I can’t tell if that means it wouldn’t have mattered either way because she was never going to impress them or that she didn’t need to try so hard because they like her. I’m going to go with the first one since I find it hard to believe these two could like anybody. I doubt anyone could ever live up to their expectations.

“I hope you didn’t fill up too much for dessert because we got cannoli. Their cannoli is excellent.” Nix gets up and goes to the refrigerator, where a small box sits. He takes it out and opens it, leaving it in front of me. They really do look good.

“What the hell? You only live once, right?” I take one and sink my teeth into the sweet cream and crispy shell. “Oh, yeah. This is great.” I set it aside after a few more bites, figuring I can eat it later while I’m reading. Though, right now, I feel kind of tired. It must be all the stress I’ve been under. Maybe I’ll call it early tonight and try to get some sleep. I’m sure all the pasta I just inhaled isn’t helping.

When the doorbell rings, my head swings back and forth between them. “Are you expecting anybody?” I ask, already halfway off the stool.

“Oh, yeah. We invited some people over.”