“This is my day. Do you hear me? My day. For once, I will not let you make this about you. I’m sorry if you have a difficult time handling that, but that’s how it is.” She runs a hand through her hair, scowling. “It’s bad enough I’m going to have to explain to everyone why my mother didn’t see fit to come to my wedding. I won’t have you screwing this up for me, too, just like she has.”

My shoulders slump, and I look at the floor, dejected but not surprised. “You can tell me about it later, okay?” she adds, but I know better. She’ll conveniently forget all about this. “But it’s going to have to wait until my big day is over. Now come on. We have a lot to do and very little time to do it in.”

What else can I do? I can’t make her care. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make her care about me, to really care about something other than what I can do for her. She’ll never let me live it down, all the money she spent on my training, conveniently forgetting the fact that she was the one pushing me, always on my back, insisting I be the best.

So even though my heart is aching, and I would rather do anything else than face the world today, I follow her down the stairs, where sure enough, an entire team of hair and makeup artists waits for us. Now she’s every bit the happy, blushing bride, accepting a mimosa that one of the makeup people offers.

They offer me one as well, but I shake my head. “No, thank you. I had a little too much at the rehearsal dinner.”

I wish more than anything I could blink and magically be transported to tonight after all this is over.

Instead, I take a seat and let the professionals get to work on me. With Mom chattering on and on in her excited way, at least nobody will expect me to join in the conversation. I can sit here and be miserable alone—which in the end, is not so different from my normal life, anyway.

CHAPTER 14

“Can you believe I’m nervous?” My mother laughs softly while checking herself out in her compact, adding a little more powder to her nose as she talks. “James is the one thing in life I’ve ever been completely sure of, but I’m still jittery.”

I’ll try not to take that personally. “You look beautiful. And you know he loves you. You have nothing to be nervous about.”

“I just want everything to go off without a hitch. For once, I need everything to be perfect.”