Even though the sun has already set, there is plenty of light in the city illuminating the inside of the car. Enough to see the freckles painted over the bridge of her nose and the frown line between her brows. I run the pad of my thumb over the creases, trying to flatten them out. She looks so much better smiling.

I can’t get too close, I can’t let my guard down, and I definitely can’t make her smile.

“You’re getting attached,” Nix tells me as if I didn’t know. “Remember where this is going. The more attached you get, the worse it will be.”

“I know.” I fucking know.

I spent the rest of the drive memorizing her face, running my fingers over her smooth skin and through her silky hair, knowing she would never let me do this if she was awake.

Too soon, Nix pulls into our driveway. The car stops in front of the door, and he cuts the engine. I wait for him to walk around and open the door before I carefully lift her into my arms and get out of the car.

Leni is still out cold, her head leaning against my chest as I carry her up stairs. It’s not until we’re inside her room that she shows first signs of waking up.

“Mmhhhh…” She moves her shoulder like she is trying to escape my hold, but then she turns her face toward me and buries it into my shirt with another moan.

“Get her zipper,” I whisper as low as I can. Leni’s cheek is pressed against my chest, and I don’t want to wake her.

Nix moves closer, unzipping her dress while I hold her. Just as he finishes, Leni tilts her head up and opens her forest-green eyes for a moment. Her gaze is unfocused, but still, there is recognition. I’m expecting her to start fighting, kicking, and screaming.

Instead, she simply looks at me as if she is happy to see me. A faint smile appears on her lip. I keep searching her eyes for an ounce of hate, fear, or resentment, but there is none.

I’m well aware that the only reason for this is the mixture of pain meds and alcohol, yet I can’t help but enjoy it. She’s never looked at me this way before, and I doubt she ever will again.

The way she looks at me is so foreign, it takes me a moment to even recognize the feeling. It’s trust. Right now, she places a kind of trust in me that couldn’t be more misplaced.

Her eyes flutter shut, and the moment is gone. Forever lost in the dreadful chaos that is our life.

“Are you going to put her down?” Nix questions when I don’t move.

“Yeah, I was just enjoying the moment. The absence of loathing in her eyes is kind of refreshing.”