The first touch of his tongue against my swollen, abused flesh makes me flinch, but all he does is stroke my legs and plant gentle kisses against my thighs, my mound. When he tries again to probe deeper, it feels better. Nicer. After a minute or two, I can’t help moaning a little. This isn’t like before, downstairs. He’s not doing this just because somebody told him to. It’s almost like he wants to do it, like he likes it. And every time I moan, it seems to please him, and he repeats whatever it was he just did to make me have that reaction. I would almost think it’s sweet if it were anybody else doing it.

Before long, that doesn’t matter, either. Nothing matters except the delicious heat now building, growing, and spreading from deep in my core until I’d swear I was on fire. My nerves sizzle and my back arches, my legs closing around his head until finally, it’s all too much. I can’t hold back. I don’t want to.

Still, I bite down on my fist to stifle my pleasure. I don’t want James to hear. I don’t want him to know. By the time the delicious aftershocks fade away, the guilt and shame wash over me like a tidal wave. How can I come after what they did to me? How can I let Nix—someone who has caused me so much pain—make me feel good? I feel like a failure. A failure to myself and all other women out there.

A sob rips from my throat, then another, and before I know it, I’m full-on hysterically crying. My whole body is shaking, my vision so blurry I might as well be blind.

“Fuck. I didn’t mean to…” Nix sounds like he is seriously shocked. Well, that makes two of us. “What’s wrong?” I bury my face in my palms, but Nix grabs my wrists and pulls them away. “What the hell is wrong? Why are you crying?”

“Why? Don’t you realize what a mind fuck this is? You are the one who hurt me. You used me, humiliated, and discarded me. And now you want to come in here and make me feel good because ‘I deserve it’? What the fuck am I supposed to make of this?”

When I blink my tears away enough to make out his facial expression, he stares at me dumbfounded as if he seriously doesn’t understand why I’m acting this way. “I did this to make you feel better.”

“This is the last thing I wanted. Why in the world would you think this would make me feel better?”

Nix pushes himself up on his palms before running his hands through his short hair. “Because this is all I know, Leni. I guess I don’t actually know how to make anyone feel better.”