That isn’t the worst part, not at all. The worst part is the way my body seems to wake up a little with every downward stroke. I know why, too—I can’t help but grind my clit against him, and the friction is both terrible and heavenly. I don’t want this. I don’t want to feel good. As bad as this is, the thought of coming, of proving to James’s twisted mind that I’m enjoying this, is infinitely worse.

“I’m guessing you’ve still never had anybody in that tight little hole, have you?” James asks. “Maybe we’ll have to change that tonight.” I can’t help the whimper that comes out of me any more than I can help the growing disgust that spreads through me. “What do you think about that?”

“It’s okay,” Colt whispers. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t even want to think about what we’re doing. I can’t acknowledge him, no matter what he says.

“Nix, instead of standing there jerking off, I want you to go over there. Play with her asshole. Just stay out of the way so I can see.”

“Relax,” Colt whispers, moving his hips in time with me. “Just pretend it’s us. Just you and me. Nobody else is here.” He says it so softly, even I can barely hear him. I doubt James can over his disgusting little groans and his quickening breath.

Colt’s words shouldn’t make me feel better. It’s not like what he did to me after the rehearsal dinner was any better than this. The thing is, it did feel better at the time. When he took my virginity, it was just us, and Colt didn’t try to hurt me. He didn’t humiliate or expose me. When it was just us, he was gentle, and made me feel cherished and loved.

Nix brushes a hand over my ass, and I can’t help but tense up. He runs a finger around the edge of my asshole, playing with me a little, pressing but not entering right away. From the corner of my eye, I see him stroking himself with the other hand.

“Don’t just play with it,” James barks. “Stick it in. Fuck her ass with your finger.” I grit my teeth against a whimper of discomfort and humiliation when Nix enters me, probing around with one thick finger.