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Chapters (33)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. By the same author
  4. Dedication
  5. Part One
  6. 1. May
  7. 2. May
  8. 3. June
  9. Part Two
  10. 4. July
  11. 5. August
  12. 6. October
  13. Part Three
  14. 7. October The Night After the Party
  15. 8. November Three Weeks After Ash’s Death
  16. 9. November
  17. Part Four
  18. 10. November
  19. 11. November
  20. 12. November
  21. Part Five
  22. 13. November
  23. 14. November
  24. 15. March
  25. Part Six
  26. 16. April
  27. 17. April
  28. 18. April – Same Day
  29. 19. May
  30. 20. December
  31. Epilogue
  32. Acknowledgements
  33. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘Hassan carried on pestering me,’ she continues. ‘He used to wait outside the door on my days off, he forced his way in to be with me sometimes. He began to hurt me; it was like he was punishing me for being pregnant. He said if I told anyone, he would let the authorities know I didn’t have a work permit. That morning you found me in the kitchen, the second time – remember?’ She pauses.

Melissa nods. She remembers everything about that morning: Lina asleep in the pantry, her bruised face, the swelling in her abdomen. It was the morning Melissa finally realized she had to leave her husband.

‘Hassan had got into the house again. He hit me,’ Lina is continuing. ‘He would have carried on but there were noises from upstairs, so he left. I hid in the pantry in case he came back.’

Melissa puts her arm around Lina. Reeling from Paul’s vicious attack, she’d assumed he’d assaulted Lina as well; what Lina told her had seemed to fit, though she’d actually said so little. They could hardly communicate back then.

‘Karen told me some men like to hurt their girlfriends when they’re pregnant, she said it would have got worse. You rescued me.’ Lina touches Melissa’s hand gently. ‘Hassan is in Syria now,’ she carries on softly. ‘He still texts me, he says he loves me.’

‘Do you believe him, Lina?’

She shakes her head. ‘He hurt me,’ she replies very simply. ‘That’s not love.’

Melissa nods, pushing herself upright, and then she helps Lina to stand. The photograph is still in Lina’s hand; Melissa watches the tenderness in her face as she studies the grainy image. You are wiser than I was, she thinks, you’ve got to the truth much more quickly. What Hassan says isn’t love, not even near. Love is what you are feeling for the baby you are carrying. It will survive everything. You will find this out for yourself, you are right at the beginning of love.

They link arms and walk through the wooden door of the cloisters into the bright sunshine of the Close.

20. December

Eve

Eve is outside in the herb garden gathering sage, partly to escape. The house is noisy, Sundays are always noisy. Jean-Claude’s wish is coming true, according to Melly. He wanted the house filled up. There are four women and five children; three when Grace goes to London to meet her lawyer. It might be difficult to prove historical assault, but luckily she kept the DNA, and once Grace has made up her mind, things tend to get done.