Chapters (33)
- Cover
- About the Author
- By the same author
- Dedication
- Part One
- 1. May
- 2. May
- 3. June
- Part Two
- 4. July
- 5. August
- 6. October
- Part Three
- 7. October The Night After the Party
- 8. November Three Weeks After Ash’s Death
- 9. November
- Part Four
- 10. November
- 11. November
- 12. November
- Part Five
- 13. November
- 14. November
- 15. March
- Part Six
- 16. April
- 17. April
- 18. April – Same Day
- 19. May
- 20. December
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
Blake stares out of the car window. When they pass the park, some of his mates are playing football already. He doesn’t want to go to special lessons for stupid people; if he can’t do the work he’ll look even more stupid. He puts his legs up on the back seat to the halfway mark. Charley has her legs up too, but she’s over the mark so he kicks her and she laughs. He kicks harder and she goes on laughing; that’s exactly what the whole day will be like.
Izzy chooses the jeans with rips; she wants to look cool but not like she cares. Through her bedroom window she can see her mother running in and out to the car, putting stuff in, yelling for her. She’s wearing the scarf again; the bloody scarf. Izzy feels anger rising up hard and hot. She shoves her feet into her oldest sneakers and saunters down, purposely slow.
2. May
Eve
‘Oh hi, you must be Martin. Grace said you’d be picking up. Charley and Blake are outside with the others. They needed a break, they’ve worked so hard. My son’s napping so this is a good moment. Gosh, it’s hot, I hadn’t realized. They say it’s going to be a barbecue summer.’
For God’s shut up, calm down. He’s just a man, an ordinary bloke. Invite him in.
‘Sorry, do come in.’
He seems shy for someone so well known, hovering at the doorway, his head ducked like a boy’s. He towers over her but whereas Igor’s height seems brutish, this man’s size appeals. He’s rumpled like her father was, glasses on his head, the same kind of soft cotton shirt rolled to the elbows. That familiar tobacco smell. He puts the pile of books he’s carrying on the table, slips off his jacket and smiles round at the room as if he were at home. She’s imagined his home often: Martin Cowan, Booker winner. A manuscript spread out on a table in a high-ceilinged loft, balls of paper scrunched on the floor. His wife hovering in the background, bringing tea, hushing the children, shepherding them away. She adds cigarette butts overflowing in a saucer, no, a heavy ashtray, made of African malachite. He spent time in Zimbabwe, she’s read, for the book, the famous one. He gave away half his prize money to the school that inspired it.
‘Tea? The children made cakes.’
‘Now how could I resist a homemade cake?’