Chapters (33)
- Cover
- About the Author
- By the same author
- Dedication
- Part One
- 1. May
- 2. May
- 3. June
- Part Two
- 4. July
- 5. August
- 6. October
- Part Three
- 7. October The Night After the Party
- 8. November Three Weeks After Ash’s Death
- 9. November
- Part Four
- 10. November
- 11. November
- 12. November
- Part Five
- 13. November
- 14. November
- 15. March
- Part Six
- 16. April
- 17. April
- 18. April – Same Day
- 19. May
- 20. December
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
‘Stop for a second, Gracie. Eve’s kitchen was a mess, but it was kind of relaxing.’
‘They have the space for mess; you have to be rich to be that untidy.’ She can’t remember the last time he picked up a broom, though that was the deal. He’d write for now and keep house, she’d go to work, then they’d swap. She’s too tired to go into it all again now. She sweeps the dust into a pan, tips it in the bin, replaces the broom and walks past him into Charley’s room. Her daughter is asleep and snoring. Grace kisses her cheek, strokes her hair and eases The Sheep-Pig from her grip, puts it on the table and turns off the light.
Blake is sprawled on his back; he’s fallen asleep with a streak of mud on his face. She sits on his bed and watches him, feeling her face soften. If she’d got back earlier he might have told her something about his day, she could have said goodnight. She’s missing things, important things; she’s not around to see anything the kids do, or even hear about it afterwards. There must be a way to arrange life better but she hasn’t found it yet. Blake’s toes are still hooked into his trainers; as she inches them off, a penknife falls out, a small metal one, cold in her hands. She flicks it open, feeling sick; the blade is surprisingly long. She closes it and turns off the light. In the sitting room, Martin is watching television.
‘Look what I found in Blake’s shoe.’ She puts the knife on the table. ‘God knows what he’s doing with a knife.’ She sits close to him for the warmth, shivering a little as if with shock.
He picks it up, looking bemused. ‘Where did it come from?’
‘I have no idea.’
‘Maybe a friend lent it to him – I used to love playing with penknives at his age.’
‘It’s completely different now; the police came into school the other day to give them a talk about knife crime. He’ll be in real trouble if he’s found with this, perhaps he’s in trouble already.’
‘Blake’s a good boy, there’ll be an explanation. I’ll talk to him and get the story.’ He puts his arm round her. ‘Leave this to me, Gracie. He’ll be fine, you’ll see. You look exhausted; come to bed.’
She puts the knife in her bag where Blake won’t think to look. It slips down out of sight, beneath the purse and the keys, her wallet, make-up, the spare tampon. Maybe Martin’s right; questions might be better coming from him, man to man.