He told himself it was necessary so they didn’t suspect him, but really he knew the truth without having to try very hard to get there: he was getting pleasure out of this. A lot of pleasure. He’d been building up pressure since he first fell for Xingyu and now it was all being released, all at once, into this man’s silk-soft mouth. He needed to get himself together. He needed to maintain a sound mind. He needed to keep his logic. He needed to—

He needed to come.

HIS HEADACHE WAS getting worse. Xiaokai took two pills, swallowed them down, took two more. He couldn’t sleep. He could never sleep.

ZHANG WEIRAN RESOLVED himself by the third meeting to finally do something about this. Naturally he was in part influenced by Xingyu’s callousness—and continued callousness after the second meeting, which he was by no means willing to think about ever again—but he’d also been influenced by the—what had felt like—life-changing blow job from that second meeting. The childish part of him that his parents had known and trusted was still trying to convince the rest of him that this was all part of the revenge plot, but the rest of him knew it was because, by this point, he really wanted to get laid.

He let the part of him still loyal to his parents front when he was speaking with members of the List. The meetings afterward were just for appearances, so what was the harm in taking advantage of them? Xingyu himself had encouraged him to do this.

Zhang Weiran wondered if Xingyu would have said the same thing if he knew that Weiran was picturing his face during these meetings.

“Ni Chaoshe.”

“Yes, here’s your key.”

Was it a bad thing that he’d gotten over it so fast? He’d been so nervous—so against it—during that first meeting, but now he was waltzing up to his room with his floor key like this was an everyday occurrence. Like he was used to it. Before this phase of their investigation ended, how much more callous would Weiran become? How much more used to it would he be?

Was it bad that his thoughts were already wandering to what he would ask this one to do?—another blow job? Or maybe this time he would follow through on his earlier resolve, and he would go all the way, damn if they look like Xingyu or not.

He looked at his keycard. Five-two-zero. That made him laugh.16 He pressed the button for the fifth floor and traced his fingers over the numbers on the card. Yes, he thought, he had courage to go all the way this time. And maybe the room number was a sign that he should go through with it.

Or maybe—?