“That I’m in love with him.” A year ago, this conversation would have just made Weiran pass out. “He told me that I was imagining it. But I’m okay with it either way.”

“You’re…okay if he never loved you back.” Xingyu’s voice was getting both slower and deeper, and the gaze that he had leveled onto Weiran seemed to have intensified.

“Do we need to have this conversation now?”

“No, no.” Xingyu shook his head hard and then climbed into the car. “Let’s go.”

HE PEILIN OPENED the door for them when they arrived and dipped his head down in greeting. “He asked where you were. I told him that I wasn’t sure, but that you’d told me you were busy with the List. I think he suspects you’re going after Bai Xue.”

Weiran and Xingyu glanced at each other. “That’s fine,” Xingyu said. “Thank you for looking out for him.”

“It’s my duty.”

“We’ll just be here for a few minutes to change clothes and talk to him. I hope it’s alright with you to stay a little longer.”

“It isn’t a problem. I have no other obligations.”

Xiaokai was sleeping on the couch. Xingyu spent a moment standing in the living room at Xiaokai’s side, his hands clenched. His mouth didn’t form any words and he didn’t move to get any closer, but Weiran had the feeling that he was having a conversation with his brother anyway—making the kind of promises that Weiran constantly made to Xiaokai in his head. Promising that he would kill Bai Xue, promising that he would never let Xiaokai get hurt like this again, promising that he would die if it meant keeping Xiaokai safe. When Xingyu was done, he bowed a full ninety-degree angle and left. “I’ll get changed before we go,” he told Weiran as he passed. “Meet me at the car.”

“Okay. I won’t be long.”

He kneeled next to Xiaokai. After a moment of silence, he fixed the blanket around Xiaokai’s shoulder, tucking it around him, and smoothed his hair away from his face.

“Hey,” he whispered after a long time. “I know I’ve told you this before. But…I’m in love with you. You told me that I was just imagining it, but I’m not. And I’ll make you believe me. You don’t have to say it back. You don’t have to love me back. I just want you to feel like you’re loved. It’s what you deserve.”

Xiaokai stirred. His hand patted the cushions around him until he found Weiran’s hand, and then he grabbed and held on. “Ngh…Weiran?”

“I’m here.”