“I don’t know.” He barely remembered anything but the blur of pain and occasional moments of respite. Or maybe it was just that he didn’t want to remember anything. Most of the memories that he had of Bai Xue were still in those sweet moments of the hotel rooms—Bai Xue holding him like he was something precious, Bai Xue kissing him softly, Xiaokai wishing that he could be whisked away by him. Even if he had no such illusions now, he still couldn’t help holding onto such unspoken promises, and he still couldn’t help that all of that still hung heavy in the air every time Weiran made his silly declarations.

“Really?”

“Really.” He wasn’t even going to be offended that Weiran was questioning his honesty here. It wasn’t as if he’d always been truthful with Weiran. He opened his eyes again and frowned at Weiran. “If you were so worried about me, why not just leave Xingyu here?”

“He can get more done on the outside than I can. And he said that you’d rather I be here.”

“He was wrong.”

Weiran pressed his lips together.

“I might hate the sight of him, but it’s always going to be preferable to putting everything at risk. If any one of them escape the justice system, they can come after you.”

“I promise you that it’s okay.”

“I also hate the sight of you,” Xiaokai told him.

“I know. That’s okay too.” Weiran brought Xiaokai’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. “How do you feel?”

“Fine.”

“The doctor said it looks like you were hit by a truck.”

“Is that so.”

“What the hell did he do to you?”

“I don’t know. He beat the shit out of me. What else could he have done? It was punishment for turning against him.” He didn’t bother pointing out that it was Bai Xue who had turned against him first with that first interrogation, nor did he point out that the concept of betrayal shouldn’t have even been in the cards, seeing as neither of them had ever sworn any kind of loyalty to each other.

“You shouldn’t treat your own life so flippantly.”

“Zhang Weiran, I’m not awake enough to listen to your lecturing.”

“I’m going to lecture you anyway. You don’t have to listen.”

“Do you have something against me?”

“I have quite a bit against you.” He kissed Xiaokai’s hand again. “I want you to see yourself the same way that I see you.”

“Through rose-colored glasses?” Xiaokai’s eyes were drifting to a close again. “I…would rather…”

“Get some sleep,” Weiran said. “I’ll call Xingyu and let him know you’re awake.”

“Don’t…let him…come.”

“I’m sure he’ll stay busy. Just go back to sleep.”