“There aren’t any people in the photographs. Any of them. Which isn’t to say that anyone who doesn’t do portraits is lonely but…these are all places that should be inhabited. And they’re fairly modern too, not abandoned—so where are all the people? It’s like the photographer is saying that they were left behind. Or maybe that their true self only exists in secret. I don’t know. Either way.” He gave Xingyu a half smile and held out the photographs, returning them. “They deserve to be in a gallery a lot more than I do. The purpose behind these, the lack of people, the lack of personal information or memories—it’s not a hobby. Are they a part of the List or something? Should I look into this too?”

“No. No, don’t worry about it.” Xingyu, inexplicably, held the photographs to his chest. “I’ll handle it myself.”

Weiran studied his face for a moment, then shrugged. “Alright. Well, I’m still working on what you gave me, and I still need to figure out what systems I can get into. Which do you want me to do first?”

Xingyu’s hands felt strangely cold. “The medical files.”

“Fine.”

Weiran worked on getting into the hospital’s systems, trying different ones per Xingyu’s instructions, and finally found Xiao-Xiao’s file in about an hour.

“Do you want to read it now?”

Xingyu shook his head. “Put it on a flash drive. I should get going anyway.”

At home again, he plugged it into his computer and accessed the file with a strangely shaking hand.

The first few years were typical—annual check-ups. Xingyu almost skimmed over them, but one gave him pause, and then he was looking through all of them.

Generally healthy, slightly malnourished.

Signs of [REDACTED]. Recommend [REDACTED].

He frowned.

Most of the ones from when he was younger were the same. Redacted, redacted, redacted.

Then—

Liu Xiaokai: admitted at the age of sixteen to North Meadow Psychiatric Hospital.

Xingyu pressed a hand to his forehead. The words swam on the screen.

Admitted at the age of sixteen due to a suicide attempt—overdose of pain killers.

Treated in the highest security facility for six months and then released.

Patient is unwilling to share cause of the problems, but medication seems to be working.

Suicide attempt. Sixteen.

Xingyu dropped his laptop on the ground with a clatter. His stomach was heaving. Bile rose in his throat.

Suicide attempt.

Sixteen.

He made it to the bathroom just in time and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Suicide attempt. Sixteen years old. Liu Xiaokai. North Meadow Psychiatric Hospital. Admitted at sixteen. Suicide attempt. Overdose.

The way he’d paled when Xingyu came back to the country. The way he constantly pushed Xingyu away and insisted he wanted nothing to do with him.

Xingyu abandoned him, and then only a few years later he tried to kill himself.