Everything, Weiran wanted to say. The fact that you said you started having these appointments when you were sixteen. The fact that you keep leaving to throw up. The fact that you look too much like Xingyu. The fact that you hurt Xingyu. Everything. Instead he said: “If I ask you to tell me your life story, will you?”

Liu Xiaokai considered him. He said, “Why do you want to know?”

The fan on the laptop started up and whirred loudly, but Weiran barely heard it. Indeed, most of the details of the room had started to fade into the background—the softness of the comforter behind him, the hard floor underneath him, the slight hum of the heater, the scatter of papers; it all faded away until all Weiran could see was Liu Xiaokai sitting in front of that little table, his gaze steady and unwavering and unafraid, so sharp it seemed to bore right through Zhang Weiran’s skull. He spoke honestly. “I misjudged you when we first met. Xingyu kept saying that you were a good man, but I didn’t believe him.”

“I don’t care about that. You were right, anyway.”

“I care.”

Liu Xiaokai looked at him for a minute longer. It didn’t seem like it was shame holding him back—rather, he didn’t look affected by this conversation at all. Was it really just Weiran’s reaction that he didn’t want to see?

“You don’t have to,” he said, “if you don’t want to.”

“You don’t sound like you mean that.”

“I don’t.”

That made Xiaokai laugh, for some reason. “At least you’re honest. Fine, I’ll tell you some. And in return, you answer one of my questions. Deal?”

“You want to know something about me? What could you—”

“I’ll ask you later. Where do you want me to start?”

“I…I guess with whenever your parents decided you would do this?”

“My birth,” said Liu Xiaokai immediately.

“What?”

“I’m sure Liu Xingyu told you some about his childhood, though I doubt he told you all of it. He was Liu Baiyan’s disciple, and I was Sun Yue’s. While he learned how to run the business and take charge of the List, Sun Yue taught me the same way that her mother taught her, and honed my body and mind to become a weapon. I told you my job is to gather pertinent information on members of the List—that is accomplished because I let them have sex with me, and then I steal their information when they aren’t looking.”

“You’ve been doing this since you were sixteen?”