“It took me a long time to work it out,” I said. “But she’s right. Children don’t choose their parents, but parents choose their children. I know you told me the truth. But I love Barbara, and I can’t stop loving her now. She’s my child just as much as Harry is. I’ve made myself her father. It’s easy for you to know who your child is, but I’ve got to find out by loving the child. Perhaps Harry wasn’t my son until tonight.”

She stroked my hair. “You won’t go back on what you’ve said, will you, Joe? You won’t be bitter?”

“I won’t go back on what I’ve said. I don’t know whether I’ll be bitter or not. But I’ll try.”

“Do you want to leave Warley? I will, if it makes you happier.”

“No one leaves Capua,” I said.

She looked at me inquiringly.

“It’s a saying.”

“I know whose,” she said. “We’ll both have to be very careful about saying things, won’t we?” She stood up. “You’re tired now, darling, we’ll talk things over tomorrow.” She yawned. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

“I’ll make it,” I said. “You must be tired, too.”

Her eyes moistened. “Joe, you are good. You’re the only one, Joe, you’re the only one—”

I took her in my arms. “Won’t anyone else make you a cup of tea at bedtime?”

“You’re the only one,” she said. “I’ve only got you, Joe, I only had you in my mind all the time. Joe, you don’t hate me any more, do you? We’ll forget all about this, won’t we?”

“We’ll try,” I said.

“Is it really all over with Norah, Joe?” I looked towards the phone and back again at Susan.

“As much as these things can be,” I said.

She nodded. “You can’t switch it off, can you? But it does stop hurting, Joe.”

“It’s hurting others that hurts,” I said. “There’s no end to it . . .”

“Joe, perhaps it doesn’t help, but I always loved you. You won’t believe it, but I love you.”

I kissed her. “I love you, too,” I said. But the words were hard to speak; I could only speak them because she had long black hair and large brown eyes, because she was a pretty girl and there was a double bed not far away; it was as if I was seducing some­one else’s wife.

“I love you,” I repeated, this time more firmly.

She moved away from me. “I’m going to believe you,” she said. “And you’re going to believe me. We’ll have to keep on saying it. All of us.”