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Back Life at the Top Save as PDF
Chapters (30)
  1. Introduction
  2. LIFE AT THE TOP
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. About the Author
  30. About the Cover

He went back to his chair. “I know. But what’s the use of worry­ing about it? Believe me, Joe, I was the world’s greatest worrier once. Christ, I used to join every demonstration there was. I didn’t just worry about myself, I worried about everyone else. And then the war came and I found out what really mattered. You live for the moment. It won’t come again. I wanted to poke Lucy so I poked her. If I hadn’t, then I’d be kicking myself for missing the opportunity. Why, you’re envious of me now. Aren’t you?”

“I don’t fancy her,” I said. I drank the last of my whisky and soda. “We’d better join the ladies.”

“Not yet,” he said. “They’ll be quite happy in there, tearing us to shreds over the coffee. Have some more whisky, and don’t drown it this time—”

I let him fill my glass. “You’re quite wrong about Lucy,” I said. “You’re welcome to her.”

“I wasn’t thinking about Lucy,” he said. “I was thinking about you. Here am I, forty-six years old with three children and a dogs­body’s job which I only got through my mother-in-law’s influ­ence. I live from overdraft to overdraft, and the only reason they’ll allow me an overdraft is because my mother-in-law won’t live for ever. And here is you, with a damned good job and a wonderful wife . . . a pillar of the community, on top of the world – you’re lucky, aren’t you?”

“Not especially,” I said.

“Ah, you’ve worked hard. But you’ve had a little bit of luck, too, haven’t you?”

From his intonation of the phrase I knew what he had in mind.

“I expect someone has told you that Harry was very big for a premature baby,” I said. I looked out into the garden; there was nothing much to look at there but the lilac bush and a few rather dejected lupins, but I didn’t want to look at Mark’s face.

“I didn’t really mean to bring that up, old man,” he said softly. “But you are lucky, you know. And yet – this is the remarkable thing – you’re envious of me. Why is that?”

I turned my gaze to him with an effort. He wasn’t angry with me, but he was accusing me. The conversation was going out of control.

“Let’s drop the subject,” I said. I smiled at him. “I’m sure Lucy’s gloriously pokable, but once and for all, I’ve never fancied her.”

“I never said you did.” He was grinning again. “But is there no one else? No one else you fancy? And what are you going to do about it?”

He started to chuckle; to my surprise, I found my face reddening.

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