‘Joe, I’ve been such an idiot. Can you forgive me?’

It wasn’t a question that could be answered. Not in that moment.

‘So many lies, Mel. So many.’

‘I know, I’m so, so sorry. Once I’d started I just couldn’t stop, like I was in a car with no brakes.’

‘Tell me about last night, after you dropped Alice home from babysitting.’

She sighed, wiped her eyes again.

‘I drove back.’

‘You were gone for the best part of two hours. Where did you go?’ I indicated the open cases on the bed. ‘And remember what I said about the suitcases.’

‘I . . .’

‘You what?’

‘Ben had left me some messages. I called him back and talked to him for a bit.’

‘And?’

‘He’s staying at a hotel near Brent Cross.’

‘The Premier Inn from Thursday night? Did you go and see him?’

She shook her head.

‘We just talked.’

‘What about?’

‘Listen, I know it probably doesn’t make any difference now, and there’s no reason for you to believe me.’ She looked me in the eye for the first time since we’d got home. ‘But I want you to know something.’

‘Go on.’

‘It was over between us.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I met Ben on Thursday night to end it. For good.’

Chapter 24

24

‘Bullshit,’ I said, the word hot in my throat.

‘It’s true.’

‘I told you, no more lies.’

‘I swear to you, on my life.’ She plucked a tissue from a box on the bedside cabinet and blew her nose. A stray thought popped into my head. I used to love the way she blew her nose. I would tease her about it, that she was dainty like a duchess. Like she didn’t want to wake the baby, even before there was a baby. I used to love everything about her. Now the thought just gave me a painful feeling in my chest, for all the things that had been lost between us. Maybe forever.

‘That’s why Ben was so angry when you were talking to him?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why did you want to break it off?’ I said, my voice quiet now.

‘I’d been trying to finish it for weeks. I’d already tried two or three times before, but he never got the message. He said we were meant to be together, that we should do what we felt was right and forget anything else. And he’d keep right on texting and emailing me, not leaving it alone, not taking no for an answer.’

‘So basically you got bored with him, too?’

Her face crumpled and I regretted asking the question.