I texted her. Told her that I would be able to pick William up from after-school club today. Then made a cup of tea to calm my nerves, and had drunk most of it before she replied:

OK. Love you. xxx

3.23 p.m. Mel mob

Staring at that text, feeling the lump in my throat, I knew that despite nine years of marriage I really had no idea whether she meant it or not.

I grabbed my car keys and headed back out.

Chapter 44

44

William was embroiled in a complicated game of toy cars with his friend Lucas at after-school club, the two of them lining up all the cars they could find around the edge of the room until it stretched around in a long line, bumper to bumper. I signed him out in the carers’ register and fetched his coat and book bag, watched him for a minute while the two of them finished creating their miniature traffic jam. There was something wonderful about the simplicity of my son’s routine, his games, the patterns of his life. For a few moments, watching him, I was able to forget the madness of the last few days.

But then it all came crashing in again, Naylor’s words ringing in my ears, and it felt like everything was spinning away from me once more. Things were happening too fast. My family, my life, my world – everything that mattered – was about to go over a cliff.

It was up to me to stop us falling.

Back home in the kitchen, the phone in one hand and a spatula in the other as I made William’s tea, I looked again at the last message he’d sent.

Wd love to see your face today bet its an absolute picture!!!

He was trolling me, deliberately provoking me to get an online slanging match going. In the last five years, it seemed, the world had suddenly filled with trolls. Full of bravado when they were anonymous behind a screen, but would no doubt shit their pants at the thought of saying anything face-to-face. How about it, Ben, you going to show your face? Or just keep on trolling me until I’m charged with murder?

I stared at his message.

Bet your face is an absolute picture.

Your face.

That was it. A picture.

All I needed was one picture of him, walking around, large as life, and this would be over. He had taken covert pictures of me at Kilburn Police Station – all I had to do was return the favour. But I needed something that was tempting enough to draw him out, make him break cover and come out into the open.

He wouldn’t break cover for me.

But he might for Mel.

If she gave him the right motivation. If she pretended she wanted to get back with him. It might work.

She picked up on the second ring.