“Sometimes when I watch them fly, I totally know what it feels like. I even dream about it. I know it sounds crazy but it’s almost like I’ve done it somewhere before. You know, two strong flaps and then just glide.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. She looked so peaceful, her curls skimming the tops of her shoulders, her hands poised at her thighs, as if she really could soar into the air.

And then he walked in.

He had that same detached look he always had. He turned to me and, almost automatically, my lashes came down slowly over my eyes and my head tilted slightly to the left. I couldn’t help myself and, thankfully, Lavi didn’t notice.

“Hey,” he said.

I thought I saw a hint of a smile, or maybe it was a snicker. He grabbed his things, went upstairs, and slammed his door closed like he had done hundreds of times before. But for me, this time was different. I felt something I couldn’t describe, which made the feeling of breathlessness so intense, I started feeling dizzy.

“I think I know. What I was. Before.”

But she wasn’t listening. She was busy making another glass of strawberry milk. So I pinched the tip of my pinky really hard until it turned blood red. When the dizziness finally disappeared, I decided I needed some help.

There was no one else to ask.

As hard as it was to admit, my mother was the expert. We were unloading groceries and she was distracted, trying to fit the food into our very small refrigerator.

“Whoever designed this thing forgot that people actually eat.” She stuffed a head of lettuce into the produce drawer, which was already almost filled to capacity.

“Do you remember your first crush?”

She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, trying to wrangle the drawer closed. “What?”

“Your first crush. Do you remember what it was like?”

She gave up on the drawer and turned to look at me. “Second grade. Bobby Warner. He had green eyes.”

She went back to what she was doing and gave the drawer a hard shove.

“How did you know? I mean what did it feel like?”

She stood up and tried to adjust the refrigerator door, which was flung open so wide it looked contorted. She was after the landlord to fix the hinge because any time we opened it too far, it would hang down like a broken wing. “Know what? What are you asking me?”

“About the guy? You know, how did you know if he liked you back?”