She nodded. “I don’t think the photographer got any of you two tangled up, and even if he had, I would have made sure it was never used. That was a nice moment for you, and like hell would I let anyone ruin it.”

My cheeks felt hot. “It was a nice moment. But that’s all it was.”

“Oh my god, Esme,” she flopped backwards, letting her head loll on the seat. “You’re going to tell me it meant nothing when you haven’t showered and I can still smell vanilla on you?”

“Is it bad?”

She dropped her face in her hands. “No, it’s not bad. But it tells me a lot about what actually happened. You know how long I refused to bathe after I met the guys because I couldn’t bear the thought of washing the scent off me? It was way past gross, and half the reason I knew it was real was because they were just as reluctant to wash me off them. It means everything.”

“His pack hasn’t met me. There’s no guarantee of anything.” Nerves swam in my gut and I swallowed. Reasonably I knew I was being overly stubborn, but I had good fucking reason to be after everything I’d tried. If there were a choice between being potentially rejected by a pack and keeping a nice memory, I’d keep the memory, thanks.

“Esme,” Eva leaned forward and looked at me. “Please tell me the truth. Do you like him?”

“I ran into him and danced with him. I have no idea if I like him.” Sighing, I pushed my hands into the pocket of my hoodie. They still sparkled with remnants of the pigment from earlier. “But yes. I’ve never felt anything like that before. And it scares the shit out of me.”

“Why?”

I couldn’t put voice to the truth. Eva knew how bad it was, and yet she didn’t. She didn’t live in this skin and didn’t understand how I butted up against her life in almost every way. Her life limited mine and formed the boundaries—it wasn’t her fault or her choice, but it was the way it was.

“Don’t make me beat it out of you.”

A laugh burst out of me. Between the two of us, I was probably the one who would win, but I understood she was trying to make me laugh. “Everything you already know aside,” I said. “The press already paints me as some kind of villain when I turn packs down. Imagine how hard they’d come after them if I was around this pack? Even if they did want me, that would put an end to it.”

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to stop that.”

“Stop what?”