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Contents ( 22)
  1. Contents
  2. About the Book
  3. JOHNNY
  4. BOMB
  5. Acknowledgements
  6. Chapter 1 After the Bombs
  7. Chapter 2 Mrs Tachyon
  8. Chapter 3 Bags of Time
  9. Chapter 4 Men in Black
  10. Chapter 5 The Truth is Out of Here
  11. Chapter 6 The Olden Days
  12. Chapter 7 Heavy Mental
  13. Chapter 8 Trousers of Time
  14. Chapter 9 ‘Every Little Girl …’
  15. Chapter 10 Running Into Time
  16. Chapter 11 You Want Fries With That?
  17. Chapter 12 Up Another Leg
  18. Chapter 13 Some Other Now …
  19. Read On
  20. Chapter 1
  21. About the Author
  22. BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT

No one made anything in Blackbury in 1996. There was a factory that put together computers, and some big warehouses, and the Department of Road Signs regional headquarters. People just moved things around, or added up numbers.

‘So I watch some science fiction films,’ said a plaintive voice behind him. ‘At least I do it in a spirit of intelligent deconstruction. I don’t just sit there saying “Cor, lasers, brill!”’

‘No one said you did,’ said Yo-less, managing to sound infuriatingly reasonable.

‘You’re not going to let me forget this, are you?’ said Kirsty.

‘Won’t mention it ever again,’ said Yo-less.

‘If we do, may we be pulled apart by wild Vegans,’ said Bigmac, smirking.

‘No, vegans are the people who don’t eat animal products,’ said Yo-less. ‘You mean Vulcans. Vulcans are the ones with green blood—’

‘Will you lot shut up? Here’s me not even being born and you’re goin’ on about daft aliens!’ said Wobbler.

‘What did we do here that changed the future?’ said Johnny, turning around.

‘Practically everything, I suppose,’ said Kirsty. ‘And Bigmac left all his stuff at the police station.’

‘They shot at me—’

‘Let’s face it,’ said Yo-less, ‘anything we do changes the future. Maybe we bumped into someone so he was five seconds late crossing the road and got hit by a car or something. Like treading on a dinosaur. Any little thing changes the whole of history.’

‘That’s daft,’ said Bigmac. ‘I mean, rivers still flow the same way no matter how the little fish swim.’

‘Er …’ said Wobbler. ‘There was this … kid …’

He said it in the slow, plonking tones of someone who is afraid that he might have come up with an important piece of evidence.

‘What kid?’ said Johnny.

‘Just some kid,’ said Wobbler. ‘He was running away from home or something. To home, I mean. All long shorts and bogeys up the nose.’

‘What do you mean, running to home?’

‘Oh, he was goin’ on about being evacuated here and being fed up and running off back to London. But he followed me back into town throwing stones at me ’cos he said I was a spy. He’s probably still outside, ’s’matter of fact. He ran off down that road there.’

‘Paradise Street?’ said Johnny.

‘What about it?’ said Wobbler, looking worried.

‘It’s going to be bombed tonight,’ said Kirsty. ‘Johnny’s got a thing about it.’

‘Hah, can’t see any Germans wanting to bomb him, he was practically on their side,’ said Wobbler.

‘Are you sure it was Paradise Street?’ said Johnny. ‘Are you sure? Did you have any relatives there? Grandparents? Great-grandparents?’

‘How should I know? That was ages ago!’

Johnny took a deep breath. ‘It’s right now!’

‘I-I-I don’t know! One of my grandads lives in Spain and the other one died before I was born!’

‘How?’ said Kirsty.

‘Fell off a motorbike, I think. In 1971.’ Wobbler brightened up. ‘See? So that’s all right.’

‘Oh, Wobbler, Wobbler, it’s not all right!’ said Johnny. ‘Get it into your head! Where did he live?’