‘I can’t help it, it’s the only one they had left, it was this or chain mail!’

‘At least leave the jacket and helmet off, all right? Then it’ll probably look like any other uniform.’

‘Why’re you wearing that fur coat, Kirsty?’ said Johnny. ‘You always say that wearing the skins of dead animals is murder.’

‘Yeah, but she only says it to old ladies in fur coats,’ muttered Bigmac under his breath. ‘Bet she never says it to Hell’s Angels in leather jackets.’

‘I took some care,’ said Kirsty, ignoring him. She adjusted her hat and shoulder bag. ‘This is pretty accurate.’

‘What, even the shoulders?’

‘Yes. Shoulders were being worn wide.’

‘Do you have to go through doors sideways?’ said Yo-less.

‘Let’s get on with it, shall we?’

‘What’s worrying me is when old Wobb … I mean, old old Wobbler … said we’ve got to do the right things to bring him back,’ said Yo-less. ‘What things?’

‘We’ll have to find out,’ said Johnny. ‘He didn’t say it was easy.’

‘Come on,’ said Bigmac, opening the door. ‘I miss old Wobbler.’

‘Why?’ said Kirsty.

‘’Cos I don’t throw straight.’

The keep-fit people had long ago staggered home. Johnny shoved the trolley into the middle of the floor, and stared at the sacks. Guilty was still asleep on a couple of them.

‘Er … ’ said Yo-less. ‘This isn’t magic, is it?’

‘I don’t think so,’ said Johnny. ‘It’s probably just very, very, very strange science.’

‘Oh, good,’ said Yo-less. ‘Er … what’s the difference?’

‘Who cares?’ said Kirsty. ‘Get on with it.’

Guilty started to purr.

Johnny picked up a bag. It seemed to wriggle in his grasp. With great care, he loosened the string.

And concentrated.

It was easier this time. Before, he’d just been dragged along like a cork in a current. This time he knew where he was going. He could feel the time.

Minds moved in time all the time. All the sacks did was let your body come too, just like Mrs Tachyon had said.

Years spiralled into the bag like water down a plughole. Time sucked out of the room.

And then there were the pews, and the scent of highly-polished holiness.

And Wobbler, turning around with his mouth open.

‘What—?’

‘It’s all right, it’s us,’ said Johnny.

‘Are you all right?’ said Yo-less.

Wobbler might not have been the winner of the All-Europe Uptake Speed Trials, but an expression of deep suspicion spread across his face as he looked at them.

‘What’s up?’ he said. ‘You’re all looking at me as if I’d gone weird! And what’re you all dressed up for? Why’s Bigmac wearing a German uniform?’

‘See?’ said Yo-less triumphantly. ‘I said so, and does anyone listen?’

‘We’ve just come back to fetch you,’ said Johnny. ‘There’s no problem.’

‘That’s right. No problem at all,’ said Yo-less. ‘Everything’s fine.’

‘Yeah, fine. Everything’s fine,’ said Bigmac. ‘Er … you’re not feeling … old, are you?’

‘What? After five minutes?’ said Wobbler.